Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Bill Maher

Comedian/actor/writer/producer/political satirist/commentator Bill Maher is not only vocal about being childfree, he dedicated an entire episode of Politcally Incorrect to the discussion of our culture's obsession with children and how the childfree often get the short end of the stick. Here are some quotes from Bill Maher about being childfree. (You can watch the Politically Incorrect episode below).

From Maher's HBO special, "Be More Cynical":

"This obsesssion we have with kids - whatever happened to people? You know, the veterans of childhood? Those of us who made it out, don't we count anymore? Must everything be for and about the children? 'Our most precious resource'? I promise you, our most precious resource is petroleum.

Don't you think we should stop celebrating spawning? People celebrate spawning! It's not a virtue anymore. There's six billion people. We're not rebuilding after the Flood now. Stop celebrating! Every Mother's Day they give an award to some maniac who shitted out twenty kids or something. This woman shouldn't get an award; she should have her legs tied together and be heavily sedated.

Those plucky McCaugheys from Iowa - that litter of puppies that woman had - and then they have the nerve to say 'It's a miracle from God.' It's a miracle from Pfizer, okay? This has nothing to do with God. This has only to do with masturbating into a cup and lab coats and turkey basters. Seven children. They live in a shoe now.

I don't dislike children; I just don't particularly want to be around them a lot. The problem is, neither do their parents. And I'm tired of being constantly, involuntarily deputized into the fight to keep your kids away from adult pleasures. 'It takes a village.' That's just a saying. Us other villagers are busy, okay? I have other things to do in the village.

What happened to telling kids that some things are for children and some things are not? There's hundreds of thousands of non-violent drug users in jail now because that's the front line of defense in keeping drugs out of the hands of children. And it's just not right. It's not fair. You know, this 'Drug War,' we put up with so much shit because of it. I do, personally. There's censorship in television; I can't make a joke about taking drugs on my show. We can talk about taking drugs, but we can't make a joke, because the kiiiiids might be watching. We made it funny - NO! Then they'd wan't to run out, and they'd take drugs, and that could lead to dancing."

From another interview:

"When I was 28 years old and a girl said to me, 'Do you like children?' I'd go, 'Well, you know, not right now, but I think someday.' That was a complete lie. I never liked children. I never wanted children, and I was just saying that because I didn't want to lose the fish that was on the end of my hook."

Politcally Incorrect Part 1



Part 2



Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

The Siren Song of Baby Cuteness

Babies are so cute. Even I think so. I just love to hold a baby and breathe in the soft, wonderful baby smell and press my face against its rose-petal cheeks. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

There's a biological reason babies are so cute. Their cuteness has such a powerful appeal that it ensures that humans will continue having babies and our species will continue. The problem is, and the thing most people don't think much about when they yearn to have cute little babies, is that babies quickly grow into teens and they're not so cute - especially when they pull stunts like this.

According to the BBC, an 18-year old in Berkshire, England painted this image on his parents' rooftop and it was there for a year before his parents found out. Nice kid.

Speaking of nice kids, last weekend our next-door neighbors' 17 year old daughter (a Catholic school girl, by the way) was having a big party at their house (the parents were out that night). A huge group of teens were out in the back yard and as the night wore on, and the kids got more and more drunk, they got louder and louder to the point where it started to annoy us. Then, around midnight we heard yelling and a huge fist fight broke out. Then we heard glass shattering and that's when my husband called the police who promptly came out and contacted the parents (our neighbors) who came rushing home to deal with the aftermath.

One of the hooligans broke 2 of their house's windows in the course of the mayhem. The next day, our red-faced neighbor came over to apologize for the disturbance and told us the damages are in excess of $1,000 and they're going to press charges. Then she looked sheepishly at us and said, "aren't you glad you don't have kids?" Um, I think that's obvious.

They have 3 kids - the 17 year old is the youngest. Like most married couples, they heard (and promptly answered) the siren song of baby cuteness early in their marriage. Now the siren they hear belongs to a police cruiser. It's a long way down.

But it's all worth it, right parents?

Childfree Hate Speak - Love it or Hate It? (Cast Your Vote)

I've never been a fan of childfree hate speech - that's what I call it, anyway. You know, referring to moms as "moos", or people who have children as "breeders" or calling kids "crotch dumplings" (have to admit, that one does make me laugh, although I wouldn't use it myself). Why don't I like this type of language? I think it diminishes us and fuels the negative stereotypes that persist about the childfree - for example, that we are bitter, angry and resentful people who don't have a life and who are fatally jealous of parents. I imagine outsiders looking at us and thinking, if childfree people are so happy, why are they so busy hurling ugly names around?

I am not interested in promoting that (or any other negative) stereotype because for most of us, it's false.

Having said this, I understand the purpose and value of hate speech. It is a vehicle for release and catharsis and lord knows the childfree have plenty to cathart about.

Interestingly, I've gotten several e-mails and comments from people thanking me for not using a hateful tone in this blog. Sadly, it's pretty difficult to find non-hateful childfree sites and blogs - I know, I've looked. They're out there, but you really have to look to find them. Interestingly, I did find a childfree discussion board called Positively Childfree that states outright that it's a no-hate zone. It's home page reads:

"Who are the positively childfree? We are individuals who have something crucial in common: we have made the decision to not become parents. Of course, there are as many different reasons for this decision as there are people who frequent our friendly space on the Internet.

As we watch our friends, relatives and colleagues have children and become preoccupied with the responsibilities and diversions that accompany this experience, we recognize the need to reach out here to other adults who are childfree -- who have the time and the desire to talk about books, travel, pets, gardens, hobbies, careers, headlines...or just the weather. We meet here not to talk about children, parents or parenting, but to relish the fact that we can instead explore other areas of life and develop other interests. Are you ready for a break from talk of baby showers? Looking for a place to meet other adults who might have actually slept 8 hours last night... and are ready to socialize, debate, philosophize and laugh? Are you tired of the negative tones of other childfree message boards?

Please, come join us!"

Sounds like a great place to hang out and mingle with other CFers.

I am glad my blog doesn't come across as hateful because despite the fact that I do a lot of railing in this blog, hateful is not really the way I feel. I don't hate parents. I don't hate children. I don't think people are wrong to have kids, or to want kids. Heck, if nobody wanted kids, humanity would disappear (hm, maybe that's not such a bad thing). My mission isn't to promote the idea that everyone should be childfree.

My mission is to promote childfreedom as an attractive and viable lifestyle option, and to dispel the negative and false stereotypes that exist about it, and about childfree individuals.

My mission is also to shine a spotlight on the obsessive and unreasonable pro-child, pro-family, pro-motherhood, pronatalist nature of our culture, the unfairness and imbalance that it creates in our society and the falsehoods it promotes.

For inspiration, I like to think of a super-effective and transformative communicator like Barack Obama, who when confronted with a completely corrupt, dysfunctional, unfair and broken system, somehow illuminates the issues clearly while simultaneously inspiring people through the use of positivity. He is serious, he is intense, he is intelligent and he is no-nonsense, yet he never stoops or belittles himself by resorting to hostility and name-calling.

I hope I can emulate that example. If this blog even impacts one person and encourages her to think for herself and to question every dictate spoon-fed to her, I feel this entire endeavor will be worthwhile. If I can influence the occasional parent who happens upon my blog to recognize the childfree lifestyle as the wonderful option it is, and reduce the prejudice and judgment she feels against those who choose not to parent, I will be thrilled. If I can influence childfree people to stop apologizing for who they are, to stop thinking of themselves as deficient, and to stand up and be proud about their childfreedom, I will truly feel like I have accomplished something. I am tired of looking for other childfree people, only to find them cowered in the corner with their mouths shut.

So how do you feel about childfree hate speech? I am curious to know. I've posted a poll. Look to the right and cast your vote. And of course, as always, comments are welcomed as well.

How Valuable are You? (Not a child? Not Very.)

You may have heard that on Sunday, a small plane crashed in Montana and 17 people perished. If you heard this news story, you probably also heard that several children were on the plane because that appears to be the aspect of this story that every news organization and paper is focusing on. Children. were. on. the. plane.

As if the adults who perished aren't as significant.

As if the fact that children were killed makes the accident far more tragic.

As if the loved ones of the adults who died won't suffer and mourn their loss just as much as the families of the children.

As if the adults who died aren't somebody's wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, or friend.

Perhaps I am looking for a fight, but since this is a blog focused (in large part) on the rampant pronatalism that permeates every aspect of our existence, I think it's important to highlight clear examples when they arise. We are so immune to this kind of thing because it is so pervasive, but we need to stop for a moment and think. What makes a child's life more valuable than an adult's? Why is it more horrible that a child's life was cut short, than a grown-up's? In a purely technical sense, it could be argued that the adult is the bigger loss, since the adult is an actual contributor to society, whereas the child is a parasite on it. An adult has also had much more time to establish meaningful, long-standing relationships and has (hopefully) had much more time to make a positive, lasting impact on the lives of others. His loss will create a ripple effect that will extend far beyond the parameters of his immediate family.

The fact is, if my husband had died on that Montana plane crash, I probably would have been too devastated to even think about the fact that all anyone cared about was the loss of the children. I would be too focused on the value of the person I had lost - a person who by nature of his age may be undervalued by our child-obsessed society, but means the entire world to me.

More Octo-Insanity

Here's another spot about Nadya Suleman that just leaves you scratching your head on so many levels.

Despite having gone on every talk show in the nation, hiring 3 publicists and soliciting donations on-line with a web site, she expresses shock at the paparazzi feeding frenzy at her house when she brought the first 2 octuplets home.

She says she keeps trying to convince herself that it will all die down soon, and that she and her family will get to have the privacy they desire. She desires privacy and she's going on Dr. Phil, the Today Show and every other venue she can drag her post-partum ass on? That sounds like a media whore to me, not someone seeking privacy!

She also admits in this spot that had she not gotten financial assistance from Dr. Phil, et al., she would have been "forced" to go on government assistance. One of the correspondents in this clip asks, "who FORCED her to have all these babies?" She's just realizing NOW that she wouldn't be able to afford 8 more babies?

Ugh. It gives me a headache.

As an aside...there's something funny in this clip. Check out the correspondant, Tamika Ray checking herself out before she realizes the camera is on her. It's at the 53 second mark.

Inquiring Minds Need to Know...

In the interest of keeping you all informed about what's going on in the celebrity world...

The Top 100 Reasons Not to Have Kids (and Remain Childfree)

1. You will be happier and less likely to suffer from depression.
2. (Assuming you get married), you will have a happier marriage.
3. You will have the capacity and time for meaningful, engaged, quality adult relationships.
4. You will be able to save for a comfortable retirement.
5. You are more likely to be an engaged and involved aunt or uncle because you are not jaded and worn down by your own kids.
6. You can fully pursue and develop your career.
7. You can fully pursue your educational goals.
8. You can decorate your home as you wish with as many beautiful and/or breakable things as you wish and you will not have to child-proof your house.
9. Your house will be free of junky, plastic kindercrap.
10. Your spouse will get all the love and attention he/she deserves. You will come first in your spouse/partner's life.
11. Your pets will get all the love and attention they deserve.
12. You can eat whatever foods you wish at whatever time of the day you wish out in the open, whether it be a gourmet, exotic meal, or chocolate chip cookies.
13. You never have to yell, scold, correct or punish anyone (assuming your spouse and pets are well-behaved ;)
14. Your home will be a quiet and welcoming oasis, instead of a chaotic zoo.
15. Your identity will remain firmly intact.
16. You will enjoy personal privacy.
17. You will get a full night’s sleep every night.
18. You will have the time and energy to exercise regularly and take care of your health and appearance.
19. You will stay informed and engaged in current events and will remain an interesting conversationalist.
20. You will retain your attention span.
21. You will minimize your carbon footprint and do far less damage to the environment than your childed peers.
22. You can be yourself (for better or worse) without worrying about having to be a good example.
23. You can live in whatever town or city you like without concerning yourself with quality of school districts, child-friendliness, etc.
24. You will be able to travel more frequently and your travels will not be limited to summer or school break times, or to kid-friendly destinations.
25. Speaking of vacations, you will be able to use your paid time off for vacations, instead of burning your days to take care of sick kids.

26. You can spend an entire weekend vegging on the couch in your pajamas if you choose.
27. You will maintain the capacity to be spontaneous – to do things spur of the moment, without complex planning or babysitter arrangements.
28. You can curse, swear, debate and vent freely in your home without worrying about censoring yourself.
29. You will never have to suffer the agony of childbirth.
30. You will be better able to retain your youthfulness and sex appeal because your body will not be ravaged by childbearing and a crappy diet.
31. You can eat your meals in peace without having to continually jump up and down to serve people.
32. You can own whatever type of car you prefer – you are not limited to mini-vans, SUVs and other family-friendly gas-guzzlers.
33. You can live in whatever type of home you like. Spiral staircases, wooden stairs, sharp-edged countertops, a small backyard, busy street are not necessarily deal-breakers.
34. You can buy a much more affordable home because you won’t need many bedrooms and you won’t have to limit yourself to more expensive, uppercrusty-good-school-district-towns.
35. Your grocery bill will be at least half of that of a family with children.
36. Your utility bills will be much lower than a family with children.
37. Your gasoline expenses will be much lower than a family with children (fewer shopping trips and errands, no chauffeuring).
38. You will spend your weekend doing things you enjoy, instead of attending boring children’s soccer games and birthday parties, or playing chauffeur.
39. You will have the energy and interest to maintain an active, attentive and enjoyable sex life.
40. You will have the freedom to come and go at will – you will remain independent, self-determined and autonomous.
41. You will have plenty of down time if you desire - naps, reading, meditating, lounging, listening to music.
42. Your life will have a manageable and comfortable pace. You will not be harried and stressed out, running around like a headless chicken trying to do it all.
43. You will age more slowly and will have fewer wrinkles than your child-encumbered peers.
44. Every night can be “date night” if you want it to be.
45. Your life will be one of far fewer worries, compared to your childed peers.
46. You will have the time and energy to actively contribute to the community – volunteer work, civic involvement, etc.
47. You can watch whatever you like on television at any time without censoring and you can watch complete shows or movies without constant interruptions.
48. You will spend far less time and effort on housework than families with children (the time and effort you will save on laundry alone is substantial).
49. You will have the time, energy and money to pursue whatever hobbies and interests you like.

50. You will not be contributing to the world’s overpopulation crisis.
51. You will not add to the drain on environmental resources.
52. You will never go through morning sickness or post-partum depression.
53. You will never have to endure the loss of a child.
54. You will never have to endure the strain and upset of raising a diseased or disabled child.
55. You will never have to deal with raising a troubled child (drugs, pregnancy, STDs, delinquency, truancy, crime) and will never be saddled with raising grandchildren because your teen child gets pregnant (or gets someone pregnant).
56. You will have spending money and can actually spend it on yourself if you choose.
57. The physical intimacy you share with your partner/spouse will remain romantic and will never have to be planned, scheduled, forced or manipulated like a science experiment for the sake of getting pregnant.
58. You will never suffer from burnout from trying to obtain the “have-it-all” lifestyle.
59. Your life will continue to be flexible. You can change your mind and your plans at a moment's notice.
60. You will not have to change diapers, wipe snotty noses or all of the many other stomach-turning things a parent must do.
61. You will not have to endure crying, screaming, fighting, temper tantrums and other surly child behavior.
62. You will never have to fight with a child over homework or worse yet, have to sit and do homework with a child.
63. You will never have to attend PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences or other school-related drudgery.
64. You will not have to save thousands upon thousands of dollars for a child’s college education (or more importantly stress and worry about where the money will come from).
65. You never have to set foot in a Chuck E. Cheese.
66. You will never have endure endless hours of noisy, electronic toys shrieking through your house.
67. You can enjoy alone time when you need it.
68. You will be more easily able to escape a bad marriage (if you should need to) than if you had kids, without having to maintain ties with your ex.
69. You will not have to live the life of a hand-servant.
70. Assuming you get married, your marriage will be more egalitarian than it would be if you had children. You will not have to adhere to traditional gender roles.
71. You will never have to pay child support.
72. You and your spouse/partner can be intimate freely in your home without having to lock doors, muffle sounds or otherwise try to hide what you are doing.
73. You will never have to endure the sound of crappy teen pop music blaring through the house.
74. Holidays like Christmas can be affordable, manageable and relaxed if you choose.
75. You will never be disappointed on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day (unless you have unreasonable expectations of your pets).
76. You will never have to go on a “play date” and be stuck sitting with boring yuppy moms and dads you can't stand just so your kids can play with each other.
77. You can beautify your property with gardens, waterfalls, trees and other natural features instead of stripping it bare for a play area, or junking it up with swing sets, sporting equipment and toys.
78. Packing for vacations and day trips will remain a breeze.
79. Your vacations will actually be relaxing and you will come home rested and refreshed, instead of wiped out and in need of a second vacation.
80. If you have medical insurance and your employer requires you to contribute, your premiums will be much lower than they would if you had kids.
81. You will never have to be embarrassed by a child who is a bad representation of you.
82. You will never have to sit through sappy and annoying kiddie movies or t.v. shows.
83. You can have kid-time if you desire it by taking your nieces, nephews or friends’ children for an afternoon. And then when you’ve had enough, you can give them back and go back to your peaceful life.
84. You will never have to worry about whether you are a bad parent or the long-term psychological damage you are inflicting on a child.
85. Going out for an errand will entail hopping into your car, buckling your seatbelt and leaving instead of a full half hour production to get the kids dressed, fed, ready and situated in the car.
86. You will never have to pack and lug around huge bags of stuff every time you leave the house.

87. On long drives, you can listen to whatever music, radio programs or books on tape you enjoy - instead of grating kiddie music.

88. Your pets can roam freely in your house with no fear of being sat on, squeezed, poked, or having their ears, hair or tails pulled.

89. New Years Eve will continue to be a rockin' late night blow-out affair for you.

90. Your mornings will be quiet and relaxed, instead of a chaotic, beat-the-clock marathon having multiple people to corral, bathe, feed, dress and get out the door on time.

91. You will not have to pay thousands of dollars a year on child care, or burden your family members by using them as babysitters. You will never have to hire a babysitter.

92. Being aggravated, frustrated and irate at home will be a rare occurrence, as opposed to a daily occurrence if you had kids.

93. Your neighbors will appreciate living next door to you.

94. Your boss will appreciate having a reliable employee who works her full hours, calls out sick only rarely, can work overtime if needed, and take on special projects. You might even get a raise, or get promoted.

95. Your friends will appreciate your broad interests, your attentive listening and conversational skills, and the fact that you won't bore them to death talking endlessly about babies and childrearing.

96. You will rarely get sick.

97. You won't be last on your list of people to take care of.

98. You will never have to feel torn between your career and your family - feeling like you are spread too thin and not doing a great job at either.

99. You will set your own agenda.

and...last but not least:

100. You will live a life of pride, knowing that you are courageous trailblazer!

Carrying the Cross (anonymously)

It's funny sometimes how things can really make you think. It's even funnier when it's your own blog post that makes you think.

When hubby read my previous post, he said he really liked my declaration of childfree honesty and my call to childfree people to stand up and shout childfreedom from the rooftops - say it loud, say it proud and all that. Then, being the wise guy he is, he cracked, "is that why you are anonymous on your blog?"

Hm!

Well, I explained, of course I am anonymous on my blog! I have to be careful. What if I am job searching someday and a prospective employer does a search on my name? Given the likelihood that she will be a parent, do I really want her to stumble on my rantings about how parents are so entitled? How our entire culture and media are unreasonably child and family-obsessed? How I zip into stork spots like Daisy Duke and rob pregnant women of their God-given right to primo parking? What if my family Googles me and finds this blog? Do I really want them reading my rants that essentially state that I think their lifestyle sucks and that parenthood is nothing more than a glorified pile of doo-doo? No, I think it's better I keep these expressions safely disassociated from my name and my interactions with people who can make judgements about me that can have a serious impact on my life and well-being. Childfreeeee I shall remain.

Besides, I explained to my wisecracking husband, being anonymous allows me to be really truthful and to really let it all hang out with no fear of personal repercussions. Sure, I may not use terms like breeder, Moo, crotch dumpling and the like, because frankly, I am not a big fan of CF hater-speak. But I do like to let the truth out - exactly what I feel and think, exactly when I feel and think it - and being anonymous gives me the personal freedom to let loose with abandon and without worrying how my image and reputation might be tarnished or who might find out and be offended. Because I am anonymous, I never have to censor myself. And boy is it fun to write uncensored stuff that you know others are reading (and hopefully finding validation in).

Wiseguy nodded in agreement. He gets it. He was just yanking my crank.

But he did get me questioning myself about how courageous and truthful I really am. Sure, I have this blog where I pontificate about pronatalism and childfreedom while I hide behind the screen name of Childfreeeee like the elusive Wizard of Oz . And I did do some serious academic work on the subject and even presented it to classmates and faculty (many of whom are parents). That was courageous, right? Oh, and there was a time when I was interviewed briefly for a local newcast story on DINKS. I certainly had to muster up some courage for that.

But am I courageous in the mundane moments of my day-to-day life?

My answer is yes and no. Yes, I tell people I am childfree and I use the term openly. I tell them why too, if they ask. And I challenge people from time to time - sometimes gently nudging them into identifying their pronatalist bias; other times delighting in shocking people with childfree candor. But no, if I am speaking with someone who is a parent (or who wants to be a parent) I generally do not go into my deepest and more controversial viewpoints on the issue - the things I know they would not be able to absorb or comprehend; the viewpoints that would send their heads spinning like the girl in the Exorcist and gaping at me like I am a 3-headed alien. When push comes to shove, sometimes it's easier to just let it go and be one in the crowd. Who wants to walk around with their neck sticking out all time?

I look at it this way - if every childfree person and sympathizer does something to further the cause, to open peoples' eyes and illuminate the shortcomings of our society, to lessen the prejudice and bring us a little farther out of the margins, the collective result will be massive. I feel hopeful that I am contributing in a meaningful way. I might not be willing to climb onto the crucifix for the cause, but I'll help to carry it. Will you?

Courage and Childfree Honesty

Did you ever notice that most childfree people feel the need to be self-deprecating when explaining their status? For example, a person will explain that he is childfree because he isn't parent material - he can barely take care of his houseplants. Or - here's one you hear a lot - "I'm too selfish to have kids" (the next time I hear a childfree person say this, I swear I am going to smack her). Even our friend George Clooney, who I just featured in my Childfree Celebrity Spotlight, while vocally childfree, was careful to point out that he doesn't have the qualities that are required for being a good parent and described how much he admires people with those qualities. In other words, "parenthood is wonderful, but I'm not wonderful enough to be a parent". We all understand why childfree folks are self-deprecating. Withering under the harsh glare of critical outsiders, it makes us less uncomfortable, and makes our childfree status more palatable, if we laugh it away as a character defect.

For once, I would like to hear a childfree person stand up proudly and tell the truth instead of soft-pedaling and dishing out what they think people can stomach. For once, tell them how great childfreedom is, how we're not childfree because we lack some elusive qualities, but because we are blessed with an abundant ability to think for ourselves and choose wisely. And while you're at it, tell them how we really feel about parenthood. I am going to start. Would you like to join me? If so, please post your own statement in a comment.

This is my declaration of childfree honesty:

I am childfree because I think parenthood is the most over-rated and over-glorified brainwashing scam human beings have ever fallen prey to. While there are certainly intrinsic rewards to being a parent, a careful analysis reveals that the cost is far higher than the rewards. I am childfree because life is short and and there are simply many more things I would rather do than to take care of children.

I do not think having a child makes a person selfless and I am keenly aware of the selfishness that motivates people to have children. Both childfree and parents choose to live the life that they believe will make them the most happy, which probably makes both selfish. The difference is, the childfree lifestyle choice is kinder to our planet and childfree people have more time to dedicate themselves to selfless activities which better society as a whole.

I choose not to have children because I think the childfree life is preferable, not because I don't have what it takes to be a good parent. Over the years, many have told me I would make a great mom and evaluate me as "mom material". I am nurturing. I love children and they gravitate to me. I am sensitive to their needs and educated about child psychology and development. I treat children with respect and kindness and I bring out the best in them. I enjoy their company, but I don't need to have them around me 24/7 in order to feel I have a purpose in life. I have come to realize that I enjoy children precisely because I am not a parent.

I do not hold the opinion that everyone should be childfree, but I think our world would be heck of a lot better off if more people were. Although parents would like us to believe that they are making a huge contribution to humanity by having children, I do not share that opinion. Our planet is overpopulated, overheated and overpolluted to the point that we are teetering on the edge of extinction, not to mention that when I look around at most people, I think at least 60% of them have no business being parents. Witnessing the dysfunctional interactions with their children, it's likely their children will grow up to be detriments to society, rather than contributors to it. And let's face it, although every parent likes to dream that her child will be the one to grow up to cure cancer, the odds of that are 1 in a million - actually higher when one considers that there are almost 7 billion people living on the planet and we're still waiting for that cure. As George Carlin says in one of my favorite stand-up routines, "Kids are like any other group of people - a few winners, and a whole lot of losers."

I do not perceive reproduction and childbirth as a "miracle", nor do I see it as an accomplishment, although most parents enjoy thinking of it this way for obvious reasons. Reproduction is a biological function common to all living beings and frankly, it's so ordinary. Dogs do it. Rats do it. Mosquitoes do it. I am far more impressed with people whose accomplishments actually require some talent, intelligence, effort and thought.

My declaration may seem harsh, but at least it's honest. You will never hear me say, "I'm too selfish to have kids", "I wouldn't make a good mom", "I am lacking all those wonderful qualities that parents have" because if I did, it would be a load of horseshit. The truth is, I have plenty of wonderful qualities, am no more selfish than the next person, and would make a great mom if I chose to be one. I choose not to be one because I am happier just the way I am.

Thank you for indulging me. I will now step off my soap box.

The Video You've All Been Waiting For

Octomom giving birth!

Get out your checkbook again...

According to TMZ, Octocrazy is shopping around the video of her giving birth to the octuplets for seven figures.

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - George Clooney

Everyone knows that George Clooney is Hollywood's most eligible bachelor and has to date been successful in remaining in his bachelor state, but did you also know he is resolutely childfree? Here are some quotes from Clooney on being childfree:

"Even one kid running around my villa makes me nervous, so I'm definitely not a candidate for father of the year. If I need to surround myself with children and feel like I have this big extended family, I can always call Brad and Angie and ask them to stay with me, just to remind myself why I'm so happy."

"I could not do what Brad and Angelina are doing. I would not have the patience or dedication you need to take care of a family. I admire those qualities in other people but it is not for me...I am doing exactly what I want to. I hang out with the same friends, I spend time in Italy, and then I go back to work. I try not to worry about anything else.”

“People keep on asking me, ‘Don’t you want to have kids?’ I have not wanted to have kids. Then they say, ‘Aren’t you afraid of dying alone?’ But we all die alone. I remember Uncle George sitting in bed, 68 years old. He looked at me and said, ‘What a waste.’ … I came to the conclusion that I was not going to wake up one day in my 60s and say, ‘What a waste.’ I was going to grab as much out of this life as I could.”

According to one interview a few years ago, Clooney stated that actresses Michelle Pfeiffer and Nicole Kidman were so sure he'd be a dad someday, they bet money on it.

"They each bet $10,000 that I’d be a dad before I was 40. But I sent both of them back their cheques and said, ‘Let’s go double or nothing until I’m 50.’ So I’ll have to be careful with the ladies for the next six years. No wedding or kids."

Careful is right, George. Better make sure the condoms are strapped on real tight. I can only imagine the hordes of women who are beating his door down to make him a baby daddy.

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Just when you think you've heard it all...

...a mother gets arrested for driving while simultaneously breast feeding and talking on her cell phone.

Just another sad example of a person who has no business having children.