Friday, January 23, 2009

The Icing on the Cake

So remember Sandy - the staff member (and new mom) I vented about a few posts ago who was always calling out of work and really making me frustrated? Well, she gave me her 2 weeks' notice a couple weeks ago. She told me the job was just too much for her, being a new mom, and she found a job closer to home with slightly shorter hours and this will make her life more manageable and allow her more time with her son. I accepted her resignation and asked her to please put her resignation in writing, stating that her last day will be January 23rd, which she did.

Although her 2 week notice threw me into a frenzy (2 weeks is not much time to advertise a position, review resumes, select potential candidates, schedule interviews, conduct interviews, hire someone and then have enough time left for training), I knew that in the big picture this would work out to be for the best. Sandy has pretty much had one foot out the door ever since she had her son.

So I sprang into action and did all the above and found what appears to be a wonderful replacement for Sandy. Her first day was this past Tuesday (we were off on Monday for the MLK holiday) and the plan was for her to have 4 full days of training with Sandy - Tuesday through Friday. 4 days isn't much, but Amy is very bright and I felt it could be sufficient to get her going.

So yesterday (Thursday), I e-mailed my staff and announced that I would be having a pizza party for everyone today (Sandy's last day) to bid farewell to Sandy and to welcome the new person, Amy.

Late Thursday afternoon, Sandy comes into my office and says she got my message about the pizza party and how nice it is that I am doing that, but... actually, she doesn't think she will be able to come in on Friday. Her son has a doctor's appointment on Friday at 2 (which she had forgotten about) and also, she needs to get to the Social Security office because she needs to get another SS card for her new job, so she can fill out the I9 form.

I could not believe my ears. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??? How much gall does it take to CALL OUT on your last day of work - a day you had agreed to in writing would be your last day? A precious day of training for your replacement? A day your boss is throwing a farewell party for you? I mean, just when you think a person cannot be any more irresponsible and inconsiderate, they set a new record.

So this was the last straw. I let her know very specifically that I was very disappointed in her. And I explained exactly why. Friday is her last day. We need her for training. Her letter of resignation stated she would work through January 23rd. On top of this, we are throwing a party for her. I told her I was disappointed that she was not honoring her commitment.

She was very willing to listen to me and made a point to express that she felt badly about it. She went into a long speech about how this is exactly why she decided to leave - that she always feels she is letting people down, she hates being pulled in so many directions, she feels that everyone is being slighted - her family, her employer. She can't do it all. Of course what I wanted to say was "well what did you expect? What did you THINK having kids and working a job would be like?" But that's right - she didn't think. She didn't plan. She didn't consider would it would entail. She wanted a baby, period. And she would "make it work". Although she claims she slighted everyone, in reality it was us - the employer - who got the shortest end of the stick.

I asked her if her mother could take her son for the innoculations ("oh no. I am the mom! I must be there for that"). I then asked her if she could reschedule her son's doctors appointment ("I don't think I can. It takes months to get an appointment unless it's an emergency"). I also asked her to visit the SS office once she starts her new job - since the new employer is apparently very flexible about her hours, they should have no problem with her taking some time away from the office to get her paperwork together.

After some back and forth and a phone call to her son's doctors' office, she agreed to come in on Friday and work an early shift and leave at 2:30. I guess this is the best I can hope for from this person.

All I can say is, God bless her new employer. She assures me that the new employer is totally aware and on board with her need for a flexible schedule and that she emphasized to them in the interview process that her child comes first and her work hours will have to accommodate the rest of her life.

Okay, well good luck to the new employer. They are going to need it.


Phoena said...

Why doesn't she just quit working completely and do the SHAM er, SAHM thing if her kid is SO important and she can't seem to handle a kid and a job? Seriously, these women are so stupid.

My mother had a hell of a lot more than ONE kid and managed to work full time. I guess women of the previous generation were more competent or something.

firefly said...

"she emphasized to them in the interview process that her child comes first and her work hours will have to accommodate the rest of her life."

Outta my way, Sandy! I need a job like that WAY more than you do!

I was sort of wondering whether Sandy just didn't like her job (aside from the whole motherhood thing) because her behavior really said 'I don't want to be here,' but after reading this statement my reaction was, Uh huh. Good luck with THAT.

I kind of sympathize; it would be great if we could all have as much time as we wanted to do the things we really love.

But unless she is going to work at a daycare facility, chances are she's going to be out of a job totally before too long.

marin said...

I have been told: "You think too much, just have a baby and everything will adjust naturally. If you stop and think rationally about it you will never do it."

You're not suppose to think in the procreation process , it's natural, it's an instinct matter, it's God's will.

I really do not understand why such a whole life conditioning thing it's said to be be a natural or supernatural event.
It's a PERSONAL CHOICE and must be made by risks conscious and parental skilled people.

I would really like to have the same privilege (such as at least three months vacation with full salary) and use time and money to attend, as a PERSONAL CHOICE, to an expensive professional school.

Childfreeeee said...

Hi Phoena,

She'd LOVE to be a SAHM but her husband doesn't make enough to support the whole family so she has to work. But she'd much rather be home with the baby.

Hi Firefly,

I share your suspicion that she will be out of another job soon. Her new place says they can be flexible with the hours, but it won't be long before she is calling out left and right and I am sure they will grow tired of that soon.


I think the fact that the "don't think too much about it..just do it - it'll all work out" advice is universal tells you that it is a vast pronatalist conspiracy. They don't WANT people to think about it because if people really thought about it, they'd probably decide against having kids.

Freelance Feminist said...

"We can't afford it."

God, I get so tired of that bullshit.

My grandmother raised five children on a limited budget. She had her first child when she was 19 and her husband (my grandfather) was not much older. He had just graduated college, I think. They had their second child barely a year later. They were probably making the equivalent of $35,000 a year in 2012 dollars, but SHE managed to be a stay-at-home mom, at least with the first two kids. They owned one car, she sewed all their clothes herself, they bought second-hand everything, and they generally lived very frugally. AND this was all before credit cards had become so widespread, so they weren't living off of money they didn't have.

People just don't do that nowadays. Our lifestyles have changed. I think it's wonderful that more women have joined the workforce. Power to 'em. But those who want to be stay-at-home moms should NOT whine and complain that they "can't afford it" and therefore someone else must do their job for them.

Do not say, "I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom, BUT..." But what? But you chose not to. It's as simple as that. If my grandparents could have lived off of what would today be $35K a year for their two kids, you can do that as well with your one child.

Honestly, I don't care how much money someone makes. Expenses increase with income, and children are expensive for EVERY family, rich or poor.

You think you can't afford it? That's no excuse for not doing your work. We shouldn't have to make sacrifices in our lives because you failed to make sacrifices in yours.