Yesterday, for the first time, my blog was invaded by a storm of angry moms. It was like a swarm of locusts rolled in. You probably missed the excitement because they invaded a very old post of mine - The Stork Spot. Go ahead, read the post and the comments. I'll wait.When readers post a comment on my blog, I receive an e-mail notifying me of the comment so I can read it and either approve or disapprove it (it's a very rare comment that I don't approve). So when a notification came that there was a comment on The Stork Spot I thought hm, that's interesting. That's a pretty old post. And then a second comment arrived, and a third, and a fourth. It occured to me that these moms must be coming from somewhere. I mean, as proud as I am of this blog, I would be a fool to think that it's going to attract a gigantic audience of moms.
And then I remembered -I have SiteMeter! I can track the referring source of my visitors. So I did. And suprise of all surprises, they were coming from a parenthood blog/website called ParentCenter.
Apparently, a blogger/mom on ParentCenter is upset with Target because she was not properly accommodated with a primo parking spot and had to schlep from the back of the lot like the rest of us lowly, non-maternal citizens. So she started poking around the internet to find information on Stork Parking and shock of all shocks - she discovered that not everybody thinks pregnant women and women with children are entitled to special parking spots. In fact, she discovered that there is actually an anti-Stork Parking "movement" and cited my Stork Spot post as articulating its sentiments the most clearly. (I didn't realize I was part of a movement, but okay, I'm in).
Anyway, I find the comments very revealing because they shed light on exactly the rampant pronatalist attitudes that are the focus of this blog - the unblinking attitude among most people that of course moms should get special privileges. Why? Because they are moms, you moron! Bow down! They work hard. They are uncomfortable. They brought us into the world. We owe them. Humanity would not exist without them. Coddle them! They are entitled.
A mom is uncomfortable. Get her seat. A mom is shopping. Give her your cart. A mom needs to park. Give her a spot right up front. A mom needs to leave work early to take care of her kids - stay late and pick up her slack. A mother is coming. Roll down the red carpet. Just read the comments on the ParentCenter site. They are all in favor of the Stork Spot. Can you imagine!? Moms in favor of moms getting special parking spots. Yeah, I guess if primo Childfree parking spots suddenly started appearing in shopping centers across the nation, I'd be in favor of them too.
Of course, the moms reading my Stork Spot post think I am a big meanie and are horrified at my "hatefulness". What they cannot understand is that what motivates me is not hate. It's disgust with the unfairness and imbalance that exists in our pronatalist child/family/mom-centered culture where a woman makes one decision (i.e to breed) and suddenly she is catered to like Queen Elizabeth. Stork Parking is just the tip of the iceberg. Don't get me started on all the other stuff - tax breaks, family-friendly this, family-friendly that, special accommodations in the workplace, and on and on. And the entitlement. Good God. That's what gets me the most.
I know I am not towing the American line by refusing to bow down to the sacred cow. I know moms brought us into the world, but you know what? Our world is in pretty bad shape precisely because too many moms brought too many of us into the world. Maybe it's time they stop assuming that they are all doing us a favor each time they pop another one out.
It thrills me that my little blog has shaken things up a bit. We need some shaking up! Roughly 40% of American women do not have children and a good percentage of those are childfree by choice. Despite the message that is beaten into our heads to the contrary, "woman" is no longer synonymous with "mother". We are not a minority whose needs and feelings should be ignored and invalidated and I am proud to be among the many brave souls whose voices are finally starting to be heard.
(P.S. to Angry Moms - I'm still zipping into those Stork Spots like Daisy Duke. Betcha can't catch me! "Yeeeee haw!")
