I think it's interesting how people find this blog. Blogger analytics tells me that these are the most common search keywords that land people here (in descending order). Looks like there are hoardes of people looking for reasons not to have kids.
Marisa Tomei will be reassured to know what a popular CF celeb she is.
Reasons not to have kids
Reasons not to have children
Reasons to not have kids
Regret having children
Reasons to not have children
100 reasons not to have kids
It's funny that Marisa Tomei fans are led to your site. Now I wonder why George Clooney doesn't show up on the list as well.
Don't a lot of poeple find this place via links to it from other blogs or message boards? I know I found this place through one of those means.
Yes Dave. A lot of people are led to the blog by other blogs and discussion boards. Many times, it's the mom discussion boards where people are railing against me, but also the childfree boards as well.
But as for Google searches, the list here are the terms that are most frequently searched that lead people to the blog.
Mine was a combination of 'I don't want to have kids", "reasons not to have kids and "childfree by choice".
I've always felt that having children wasn't in the cards for me and it wasn't something I even thought about much until I got loudly bingoed at a baby shower of a good friend of mine.
I was chatting with one of my friend's coworkers, a woman I'd never met before, and of course its a baby shower so the subject inevitably turned to kids and do I have any, I told her no thinking that would end the conversation then she asked when I was having kids (not if) to which I politely said I'm not having children at all, so what was her response "why are you even here if you don't want children" in a tone of disgust. I was so shocked I almost choked on my pig in the blanket lol.
Needless to say her comment really rattled my cage and I had to remind that imbecile that we're all here to support our dear friend and to have a good time and went on my way. Later on I noticed her and two other women giving me dirty looks, I could just imagine what was said about me.
Anyway after that silly incident at the shower I wondered how other people dealt with moments like mine and stumbled on your blog. I have to say I enjoy it and the comments its well thought out and written.
Hi Dee Dee
I am sorry to hear about that rude woman's comment. Sadly, that kind of attitude is all too common, which is why we childfree people need places like this for support and validation.
Sometimes I hear from parents who can't understand why our childfreedom is even an issue - in other words, who cares if we don't want kids. Live and let live. What they don't realize is that many people DON'T let us live. We are always on the defensive because we are attacked, judged, ridiculed and at times treated like we are the devil incarnate just because we don't want to reproduce.
That woman's comment was rude, and it makes no sense. Is she saying that after every baby shower every single woman in the room has to have a baby later? That's just stupid.
Thank you! You're absolutely right, fortunately my parents and siblings are very supportive of my choice so I try not to let rude people who don't know me get me down.
FYI I was on the weddingbee.com boards (i'm getting married YAY)and someone started a two part thread about deciding to live CBC after reading your blog and they had a link back to your site, well as you can imagine, the comments started out civilised and respectful and then that one person who starts calling every one selfish and childhaters. It went on for a while. Check out the link below.
I know right. I mean when she said it I just froze thinking did those words actually leave her mouth? Is having kids a prerequisite for attending a baby shower? I guess in her brain someone admitting they don't want kids is synonymous with not liking kids and in my case I actually like kids and love my five nieces and nephews. Oh well some people are just too stupid for words.
I am very happy I stumbled on your blog...i do not want children and your blog makes me even more happier that I choose not to ...
I found your blog by searching "reasons not to have children"
@DeeDee I get that all the time. It's funny because whether you respond says you do not want kids or you provide an explanation, you cannot win at all lol. So I just say no and stare them in the face....most people than change the subject. We as CBC have no reason to give an explanation. Most people I know that have kids did not want them, hate the other parent or their kids are screaming all over the place.
I think I found you on childfree feminist's blog roll - and I'm very glad I did!
I found your site through Goggling "child free." I was searching for reassurance and a community, since living in the suburbs and being CBC can make one feel like a total outcast.
@ DeeDee... what a crazy comment to you! What I find weird is that not only is "wanting kids" or "having kids" not a prerequisite for baby shower attendance, "liking kids" really isn't, either. So even if it were TRUE you didn't like kids (which you've made clear is not true) that wouldn't mean you shouldn't attend the shower. Personally I really don't like most kids I'm not related to, and this includes the kids of close friends. (To be honest I always just assumed that I would like the children of good friends the way I like my nieces and nephews, but that did not turn out to be true.) Still, I like my FRIEND and turn out at showers to show support. What a weirdo that woman seems to be. I guess what she thinks is you're not "in the club," so you have no business being there.
@Temujin... funny but thinking back to the last baby shower I attended, pretty much every woman of breeding age in the room (other than me) HAS had a baby later, except in the cases of some people who had just had kids. It wasn't a huge shower, and within a year of the shower, 3 women who were not pregnant or obviously pregnant at the time had babies.
Mandy - I think many of the Google search terms are probably bringing people back to this blog... it's not just first-time visitors finding the blog. I know I can never remember the URL and I don't have it bookmarked, so I search things like "childfree blog" or childfreedom, or sometimes if I am lazy I use Google to bring me to a specific post I want to revisit, like one about mothers who regret having kids.
I found your blog by using the exact keywords "reasons not to have kids" and it took me straight to the 100 reasons -list.
Your blog was also the first place where I came to know of the term "childfree".
After adding you as a friend on FB, Mandy, I found the CF groups there and eventually came across a few CF groups that have members from my home country, which is a great thing. So I own a lot to you and your blog :)
This blog was recommended to my by a friend. It was in reply to a post I made about feeling like an outsider because I don't have/want kids. The amount of support I feel from this blog is fantastic! I don't feel alone in my choice anymore.
tee hee. I googled 'i don't want kids'. it's almost a 1.5 years ago! I enjoy your blog very much.
ooh, can't believe I haven't changed my mind like everybody else said I would do.
i googled 100 reasons to not have children and let me say, the next time my mother in law says, "give me a reason!" i'll have 100 to give her! ;)
I googled 'is it normal not to want children?'. I was worrying (irrationally) about my relationship breaking down in the distant future because I have never wanted children. Thankfully, my boyfriend is supportive but I foresee problems especially in my family-centric Asian society. I feel more 'normal' now, thank you! (:
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