Has anyone besides me ever noticed that once a person has a baby, she is no longer held to the same standards of behavior as the rest of the population. Case in point:
This is a photo that I snapped at an upscale French bistro in Philadelphia at lunchtime today. Notice the baby is barefoot and standing on the table while the ignorant mom supports and encourages her to walk her filthy feet all over the table. Meanwhile, the equally ignorant friend looks on - actually, now that I am looking at this photo more closely, it appears she is glaring at me for taking their picture. How rude of me! Why on earth would I want to snap their picture? What could possibly be the basis of my interest in them?
No adult with even a shred of class or manners would stand on a table barefoot in a restaurant, yet they will encourage their children to do so. What exactly is this mom teaching her daughter by placing her on the table in bare feet?
What I DIDN'T catch a picture of, and what was even worse, was the same baby SITTING on the table, diaper peeking out of her onesie - her germy ass smudging itself all over the same place where patrons eat.
Lucky for me, just as my temperature was spiking and I was growing more irritable by the moment witnessing this blatant display of crass behavior, my savior arrived:
Baby? What baby?
Ugh, I hate that. People always sit their diapered children on the counter where we put the food customers order. I always make a big show of disinfecting the counter after they take their kid off. Just because you eat and live in child-related filth doesn't mean that the rest of the world should.
And my sister does the same thing of taking pictures of irresponsible parents and posting them.
That is disgusting. I hope someone told the management. I never want to eat out again after that.
Totally agree. Spent one evening last week at one of the best restaurants in the country, which was wonderful. What wasn't wonderful was the mother across the room exposing her breast in order to breast feed a baby at the table, and the baby's father taking his child on a tour of the dining room, holding her so that she could poke the cheese while a couple on a date were choosing what ones to have, and then encouraging her to tear the flowers from the arrangements. I know, I know, I'm supposed to find it cute and it's 'only natural', but there are lots of things cute and natural I don't want to have paraded in front of me at dinner, for example Easter bunnies and cancer. Just because you are blissfully in love with your child doesn't mean I am - would you like it if I brought over my husband and held him over your food so you can see how beautiful he is? No. Rant over.
On a more general note, thank you thank you for this blog, it's honestly been a saviour for me. It's put into words what I'm often too furious to articulate faced with all the emotional obligation wielded about by people on the subject of children.
This shows one of the great unspoken selling points of being a parent. It's like "the bingo that dare not speak its name." The unstated but clear benefit of having kids: it's a license to get away with things you couldn't do as a non-parent. It's the privilege of knowing that others have to adjust to you instead of you to them.
Let's be fair -- this really is a "reward" for having a kid! Maybe it's one of those "intangible" ways your life becomes so much better?
At least she wasn't changing a diaper on the table. I can't believe how many people think that's ok! On another message board the same person would claim that:
1) It's ok to change a diaper on the table at a restaurant because the changing pad would protect the table from getting any germs.
2) It's TOTALLY unreasonable to expect a parent to change a baby on a counter in the bathroom or the floor or any other surface because they can't put their baby on a DIRTY surface.
Apparently the magic changing pad only offers one way protection.
Would you have preferred shoes on the kids feet? LOL! Kidding! :)
The child shouldn't have been on the table: period. And anyone who brings a child to a restaurant should already know this! I too find it unbelievable that people do things like this and what's even more mind-blowing is that businesses put up with this crap from parents. I just don't understand why most eateries need to pander to parents and their terrible manners.
Yeah, I see this when I'm out too.
But what annoys me most about women who have had children, is that they expect everyone else to give them and they're pram/toddler/kid/etc to right of way. Or think it's ok to ram the pram into you or their kid to run right into you.
Just cos you managed to reproduce doesn't mean you're better than me missy, oh no!
What Diane said. Changing the kid in the restaurant area is the worst, although no one wants to eat on a table where a kid's feet and diaper have recently been.
I'm kind of a germaphone neat freak and oddly this doesn't bother me at all. Not the baby feet on the table or the diapered but on the table. As long as that diapered but isn't leaking. I think baby feet are adorable so I don't tend to find anything dirty about them. Not that I want to take care of any baby feet of my own....
"Crass Yuppy Moms"
Are there any other kind? :-)
That's appalling. And how dare that other woman glare at you for snapping a photo...
I lunched with two of my cousins yesterday, both of whom are parents, and they would never in a million years allow their children to do that. In fact, one of my cousins brought her nearly 5-year-old daughter to lunch, and she was amazingly well-behaved overall. My cousins have ZERO tolerance for bratty or entitled children, so they thankfully have been raising their kids with care. In fact, my cousin purposely did NOT bring her other a daughter, a 3-year-old, as she knew the kid would be frustrating for all... I was incredibly grateful.
Ugh, yeah, no kidding. On the Rachael Ray show, they interviewed Greta Monahan (who had recently had a baby) and showed her going back to work and bringing the baby with her to meetings. She friggin' changed the baby's diaper on the table during the meeting and no one batted an eyelash. How disgusting is that???????? Just because you have a baby doesn't give you free reign to throw its fecal material all over the place.
As for changing a diaper at a table: I've actually never changed a diaper, but from what I understand babies don't "hold it in" while they're being changed.
There's a chance that while you're changing the diaper the kid will let loose all over the place, #1 or #2 or both. There's no guarantee you can keep everything contained even with a diaper mat.
It's like defusing a bomb.
I will never understand why parents think that sort of behavior is okay. Try as they might to change it, their child isn't sterile and does not belong on any surface that an adult doesn't. Especially tables.
Children are germ factories. I can count on one hand (and have fingers left over) the amount of times I've gotten sick from being around adults. I don't have enough fingers on both hands (or toes, for that matter) to count the number of times being around children has gotten me sick, and I have a pretty good immune system.
There is no reason to be standing a baby/toddler on a table, nor is there any reason to change said child's diaper on a table (or public seating *shudder*). I have seen both far too many times. What ever happened to common sense - and common decency?
Baby feet are cute, BUT, they shouldn't be walking all over a table in a restaurant where the general public eats. Also, changing diapers on a restaurant table is just totally disgusting. I am so glad that I am almost too old (48yrs old) to have kids. Parents today just do not have any manners or consideration for other people who don't have or like kids. They seem to think that just because they reproduced, that the whole world ought to bow and scrape to their every whim. I used to like kids, but can't stand them now.
I waited tables for twenty years and saw it all. What annoyed me the most was the moment someone with a toddler sat at a table, they immediately handed the child, the sugars, jellies, salt and pepper shakers to "play" with. These ARE NOT toys. Now I will have to through everything away(because they are covered in baby germs and possible slobber)and clean/sanitize the containers. I finally got to the point of automatically taking all of these things off the table when a toddler was present and giving back what they needed when their meal arrived. Also, I don't want to see you breastfeed, I don't care if you think it's natural, I don't think so. Shouldn't that be a private moment between mom and baby anyway???
Hubby and I raraly frequent child friendly restaurants for this very reason. However, the last time we went to a nice restaurant, the couple next to us (in their late 40s maybe? With a toddler...) spent the entire night watching their boy sprint around the table. The only time he stopped was when he yelled "WIPE!" which meant he needed to go to the bathroom. Then they'd argue about whose turn it was to take him. He yelled "WIPE!" three times in an hour and 30 minutes. Such a lovely night.
I manage a restaurant in Raleigh, NC. One day during lunch, I had a mother try to change her baby, right on the banquette, with another diner sitting a mere few feet away. I was horrified, and immediately told the woman she could NOT do that there. Her response? "Well there wasn't a changing station in the bathroom. If you want people with children to eat here, you should have a changing station available". I smiled, and politely informed her that, no, we DIDN'T want children dining in our upscale sushi restaurant, and under no circumstances could she change her child in the middle of the damn dining room. She snarled something about never coming back, to which my response was simply "Good. We don't want you back". Unbelievable.
I once saw a Mom diaper a cbaby in an armchair right next to me and the assistant even helped!!! Gross... I got the hell out of there and never came back!.
I used to waitress in a chain restaurant and was serving a family with 3 kids, one an infant. The mother literally whipped out her breast to feed the damn thing right as I was bringing her drinks. As luck would have it, as I set her drink in front of her, her breast flopped onto the table. I was horrified and left as quickly as possible and had very little interaction with them the rest of the night.
This reminds me of an etiquette article I read a while ago about a woman changing her baby's diapers ON A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT TABLE. Really? REALLY?!!
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