Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Christopher Walken

This morning I was watching CBS Sunday Morning and they were interviewing Christopher Walken.  At one point, the interviewer asked about the fact that he and his wife of 43 years, Georgianne Walken, never had children.  Walken replied, "No, they are miracle, but it just never happened"  (the typical celebrity soft-pedal).   Thankfully, the interviewer pressed on, "Did you want kids?"  He paused, laughed and said, "No."

In doing more research about Walken's childfree status, I have read that he credits his prolific film career to not having kids.  If anyone finds more quotes from Walken on being childfree, please comment and I will add them to this entry.

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Oprah Winfrey

Although I've known for a long time that Oprah was childfree-by-choice, I did not feature her on my Childfree Celebrity Spotlight page because she never openly discussed her childfree status.  And no wonder.  When your multi-billion dollar empire is built on the cash-cow market of moms, it's your job to make them feel that moms are the greatest and most important people on earth, so it's probably not in your best interest to rub it in their faces that you deliberately did NOT choose their lifestyle.

Once Oprah's network talk show went off the air, however, things changed - a little.  She began to open up about her choice not to have kids and stated that it was a deliberate decision that she feels very comfortable with.  When asked how she feels about not having children, she said:

Really good. No regrets whatsoever. Gayle grew up writing the names of her would-be children, making little hearts and putting children's names in them. Never occurred to me to do that. I never had a desire. And I don't think I could have this life and have children. One of the lessons I've learned from doing the show is just how much sacrifice and attention is required to do the job of mothering well. Nothing in my background prepared or trained me to do that. So I don't have any regrets about it at all. And I do feel like I am a mother in a broader sense—to a generation of viewers who've grown up with me.

In this interview with Barbara Walters, Oprah discusses her decision at the 7:30 mark.  Note how Barbara dropped the "regret" bingo on her.



Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Ellen Degeneres

I was excited to learn of another vocally childfree celebrity when my reader nptcowgirl pointed me to this USWeekly article about comedian Ellen Degeneres.  (Thank you, nptcowgirl!)

"I don't want to have one. I don't want to have six. I don't want to have any," the funnywoman said. "They're precious to look at and I love them; we have nieces and I love them very much. [But I] don't want 'em."

In her 2011 book, Seriously...I'm Kidding, DeGeneres made light of the pressure to procreate, writing that "people are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children our own. There is far too much glass in our house."

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Maurice Sendak

Legendary childrens' book author and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, author of Where the Wild Things Are, died recently at the age of 83. While Sendak was known for his beloved childrens' books, most did not realize that he was decidely childfree. In a 2011 interview with radio host Terry Gross, Sendak was asked if he would have liked to have had children.

No.  There's too much hard work involved and I am devoted to being an artist and a person who reads books for the rest of my life - however long I have.

Gross, then commented that this type of activity requires a lot of "self-absorption" (the old childfree = selfish stereotype), to which Sendak replied:

I think it has to do with the time that's spent trying to understand what it means to be an artist - to get under the skin of what is happening as best you can - and to have a real child would be hard work I would not want to do - changing clothes, taking her to school, putting up with her anger, putting up with her indifference and praying all the time that she will grow up to be a good woman and take care of her poor old dad. 

When asked if he wished he had a child to take care of him in his old age, Sendak admitted that he had a "fantasy daughter", but when pressed by Gross - who tried to get him to admit he wished he had had a child, Sendak replied:

It's a fantasy...Yes, I would fantasize a daughter full-grown.  She would have to be in her late 30s or early 40s and be all over me and taking care of her poor old dad.

For fun, check out Sendak's interview with Stephen Colbert. In this amusing interview, Colbert asks him why he writes for children:

I don't write for children. I write - and somebody says, 'that's for children'. I didn't set out to make children happy, or make life better for them or easier for them... I like them as few and far between as I do adults - maybe a bit more because I really don't like adults at all, practically.

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Danica Patrick

29 year old IndyCar and NASCAR driver, Danica Patrick, has no desire for the "have it all" lifestyle of career and motherhood.  She recently told a reporter she has no  interest in having kids now or in the future.

“I think it is something which is probably not for me at this point and realistically, I don’t know when that point would ever be.  My focus is on racing and of course I have a lot of outside interests which take up my time.”


“I am not someone who has a strong yearning for kids at all,” she told USA Today. “I see all my friends with kids. I will get up at 10 a.m. and text them and they’ll say ‘Ha, funny. One of my sons was in my room at 5.30 in the morning so I can’t say I slept until 10.’ That’s just their life.

"My sister did her eighth-grade graduation poster on what she wanted to do when she grew up, and it said, 'A mom!' That's definitely not what mine said."


"The only thing I plan long term on are things outside of the car, outside interests or things I want to do with my husband."

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Guy Pearce

English-born Australian actor, Guy Pearce, is best known for his role as the memory-challenged protagonist of Memento. That is not his only accomplishment, however. He is also one of the few childfree by choice celebrities who is vocal about his decision.

Quotes from Guy on the subject of having children:

"I think there are way too many people in the world anyway, so Kate and I are doing our bit and not having any,"

"To me it's a lot like someone saying, 'Do you want a broken leg?'," he said of fatherhood.
"Well, no, actually, I'm quite happy getting around without crutches, thanks very much. Seriously, I love kids but I love giving them back as well."

"We'd be on the news if we had kids," Pearce told The Times. "We'd do something horrible to them or leave them somewhere."

He added: "No, I shouldn't say that we'd do horrible things to them. I just mean that, well, I couldn't give them the constant love that they need."

Thanks to Facebook friend Milla for letting me know about Guy Pearce.

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Shirley Manson

Thank you to my Facebook friend Flavia for informing me that rock star Shirley Manson of the band Garbage is decidely childfree by choice.

"I just missed that whole baby calling. I feel a lot of women think you're a freak if you feel like that, and maybe I am strange," she laughs, "but I never got that feeling."

"In some ways I wish I had had that urge, because I adore children. What sickens me are the people who have children because they want someone to look after them in their old age, or because they're scared of being lonely, and I don't think that's right, because if you have children, your duty as a parent is to ensure that your child can learn to live without you. And so I feel I can live quite happily with my decision."

Read more

This is my favorite Garbage song:



Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Vincent Kartheiser

Fans of AMC series, Mad Men, may be delighted to learn that actor Vincent Kartheiser, who plays the role of ambitious ad man, Pete Campbell, is childfree by choice. In this clip from MSNBC, Vincent talks about his efforts to live an environmentally-friendly life, and how being childfree furthers those efforts. Thanks to Claire-Marie for the link.



Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Renee Zellweger

Actress Renee Zellweger enjoys being an aunt, but perceives parenthood as a form of slavery.

"Motherhood has never been an ambition. I don't think like that. I never have expectations like, 'When I'm 19 I'm going to do this, and by the time I've hit 25 I'm going to do that'. I just take things as they come, each day at a time, and if things happen then all well and good."

"My brother has two children now, so I've been playing aunt Renee. They're two and four. It's chaos. Moms out there, kudos to you. The cool thing about being an aunt is like, I can leave. No offense to my big brother Drew, but that is slavery. I dare you to take a shower. You can't do anything unless they let you. It's a dictatorship. They're little dictators in their crib."

"Every now and then I'll step up and say, 'You know what, everybody sleep in, because you guys need some sleep and aunt Renee is going to take charge. I've got it, I've got it.' I so didn't have it."

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Loud and Proud

I really enjoyed this article by Polly Vernon in The Guardian, It Takes Guts to Say: 'I Don't Want Children'. (Thanks, CFVixen). Polly touches on several themes that have often been addressed here in Childfreedom, for example how vocally childfree women are marginalized and made to feel they are freakish, horrible people for not wanting children. She starts the article by applauding Cameron Diaz who, in a recent interview, spoke up in defense of childfree women:

"I think women are afraid to say that they don't want children because they're going to get shunned ... I have more girlfriends who don't have kids than those that do. And honestly? We don't need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet."

Go get 'em, Cameron! But do us all a favor - if and when you do make the final decision to remain childfree, let's hear from you again. And when we do hear from you, please don't tell us you decided not to have kids because you're "too selfish", you're "not mom material" or are otherwise defective in some way. Say it loud, say it proud.

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Stevie Nicks

As one of the lead singers and songwriters of Fleetwood Mac, as well as a solo artist in her own right, Stevie Nicks decided early on that she would forego having children. Music was her true love and she knew that having children would interfere with the life she most wanted to lead. Stevie has been very open about her choice to be childfree. Here are some quotes from Stevie about her decision not to have kids.

"I made a conscious decision that I was not going to have children. I didn't want others raising them, and looking after them myself would get in the way of being a musician and writer."

"I don't really need children. I have a niece who's six, who certainly fills my life up as far as a child goes. I'm gonna just work on my work. I don't think the world is going to have that much of a problem with me not being married or having a family. I don't think that's why I came here. I have something that's really important to do, and I don't think I've done that yet. "

"Do you want to be an artist and a writer, or a wife and a lover? With kids, your focus changes. I don't want to go to PTA meetings."

”...I now really understand what an incredible commitment it is to have a child, and how difficult it is. I know I could not have done both. I'd have ended up having to stop doing my music, or pretty much letting someone else raise my child ~ which would have made me very unhappy."

"As the years went by I pretty much realised that that was a good decision because... with a child in my life, I can't just be, 'Well, I know you're in second grade and you love your school but guess what? We're going to New York.' "I instinctively knew that that would not be being a good mother. I did not want to be a half-assed rock star and a half-assed mother."

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight: Kim Cattrall

Like most people, actress Kim Cattrall assumed she would have children - that's just what everyone does, right? But when she gave it some thought, she realized motherhood wasn't for her, and she's vocal about being happy with her childfree life. From an interview posted on Oprah.com:

"I always assumed that like my mother before me, one day I would have children. When I was 5, my fantasy was to have a hundred dogs and a hundred kids. In my middle to late 30s, when most of my girlfriends were married and having babies, I wasn't having any luck finding a partner. If I was going to have children, I realized I should think about doing it on my own. I was feeling both the social pressures and my own biological clock ticking. And I felt somewhat cavalier: I could raise children by myself; how hard could it be? My mother raised four kids, and mostly without a husband.

I also thought that without having children, I'd be missing something unique to being female. It's incredible that the female body has such power—the gift of giving life. I wanted to know that power and fall in "unconditional love" with a child. No one could ever describe that love to me except to say, "It'll happen to you when you see your baby in your arms."

I made inquiries through my ob-gyn about sperm banks. Four folders arrived at my house with selections of sperm donors, including each donor's eye color, SAT scores, religion, athletic abilities, and hobbies. This catalog was a smorgasbord of DNA choices. I could construct any number of possible physical combinations for my child…except for her to be the product of a union with someone I loved.

When I feel lost and can't make a decision, I just stop and get quiet. I take a time-out. I ask myself, "How does this feel? What do I want my life to be like?" I try not to listen to the shoulds or coulds, and try to get beyond expectations, peer pressure, or trying to please—and just listen. I believe all the answers are ultimately within us. When I answered those questions regarding having children, I realized that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn't ready to take that step into motherhood.

Since then I've found other ways to fulfill my maternal instincts—when a young actress comes to me for advice about her career, or when I give a talk at a school, babysit my friends' kids, or work with children's charities or organizations. And even though I'm now married, my decision still stands.

My newest projects sometimes feel like my children. When my husband, Mark, and I wrote our book, the time, energy, and love we put into it felt very much like parenting. And when we finally dropped the book off at the publisher, it was as if we were taking our child to the first day of nursery school—we were so proud and so nervous.

Being a biological mother just isn't part of my experience this time around. However, I am a mother who continues to give birth to ideas and ways of experiencing life that challenge the norm. My foundation is me. I follow life's changes, continue with my time-outs, and remain curious about what's next."

In an interview in The Advocate, Cattrall said:

"I'm a woman of a certain age who doesn't have kids and never really settled down... I enjoy kids but not for long periods. I think they're adorable and funny and sweet, and then I have a headache."

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Bill Maher

Comedian/actor/writer/producer/political satirist/commentator Bill Maher is not only vocal about being childfree, he dedicated an entire episode of Politcally Incorrect to the discussion of our culture's obsession with children and how the childfree often get the short end of the stick. Here are some quotes from Bill Maher about being childfree. (You can watch the Politically Incorrect episode below).

From Maher's HBO special, "Be More Cynical":

"This obsesssion we have with kids - whatever happened to people? You know, the veterans of childhood? Those of us who made it out, don't we count anymore? Must everything be for and about the children? 'Our most precious resource'? I promise you, our most precious resource is petroleum.

Don't you think we should stop celebrating spawning? People celebrate spawning! It's not a virtue anymore. There's six billion people. We're not rebuilding after the Flood now. Stop celebrating! Every Mother's Day they give an award to some maniac who shitted out twenty kids or something. This woman shouldn't get an award; she should have her legs tied together and be heavily sedated.

Those plucky McCaugheys from Iowa - that litter of puppies that woman had - and then they have the nerve to say 'It's a miracle from God.' It's a miracle from Pfizer, okay? This has nothing to do with God. This has only to do with masturbating into a cup and lab coats and turkey basters. Seven children. They live in a shoe now.

I don't dislike children; I just don't particularly want to be around them a lot. The problem is, neither do their parents. And I'm tired of being constantly, involuntarily deputized into the fight to keep your kids away from adult pleasures. 'It takes a village.' That's just a saying. Us other villagers are busy, okay? I have other things to do in the village.

What happened to telling kids that some things are for children and some things are not? There's hundreds of thousands of non-violent drug users in jail now because that's the front line of defense in keeping drugs out of the hands of children. And it's just not right. It's not fair. You know, this 'Drug War,' we put up with so much shit because of it. I do, personally. There's censorship in television; I can't make a joke about taking drugs on my show. We can talk about taking drugs, but we can't make a joke, because the kiiiiids might be watching. We made it funny - NO! Then they'd wan't to run out, and they'd take drugs, and that could lead to dancing."

From another interview:

"When I was 28 years old and a girl said to me, 'Do you like children?' I'd go, 'Well, you know, not right now, but I think someday.' That was a complete lie. I never liked children. I never wanted children, and I was just saying that because I didn't want to lose the fish that was on the end of my hook."

Politcally Incorrect Part 1



Part 2



Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Courage and Childfree Honesty

Did you ever notice that most childfree people feel the need to be self-deprecating when explaining their status? For example, a person will explain that he is childfree because he isn't parent material - he can barely take care of his houseplants. Or - here's one you hear a lot - "I'm too selfish to have kids" (the next time I hear a childfree person say this, I swear I am going to smack her). Even our friend George Clooney, who I just featured in my Childfree Celebrity Spotlight, while vocally childfree, was careful to point out that he doesn't have the qualities that are required for being a good parent and described how much he admires people with those qualities. In other words, "parenthood is wonderful, but I'm not wonderful enough to be a parent". We all understand why childfree folks are self-deprecating. Withering under the harsh glare of critical outsiders, it makes us less uncomfortable, and makes our childfree status more palatable, if we laugh it away as a character defect.

For once, I would like to hear a childfree person stand up proudly and tell the truth instead of soft-pedaling and dishing out what they think people can stomach. For once, tell them how great childfreedom is, how we're not childfree because we lack some elusive qualities, but because we are blessed with an abundant ability to think for ourselves and choose wisely. And while you're at it, tell them how we really feel about parenthood. I am going to start. Would you like to join me? If so, please post your own statement in a comment.

This is my declaration of childfree honesty:

I am childfree because I think parenthood is the most over-rated and over-glorified brainwashing scam human beings have ever fallen prey to. While there are certainly intrinsic rewards to being a parent, a careful analysis reveals that the cost is far higher than the rewards. I am childfree because life is short and and there are simply many more things I would rather do than to take care of children.

I do not think having a child makes a person selfless and I am keenly aware of the selfishness that motivates people to have children. Both childfree and parents choose to live the life that they believe will make them the most happy, which probably makes both selfish. The difference is, the childfree lifestyle choice is kinder to our planet and childfree people have more time to dedicate themselves to selfless activities which better society as a whole.

I choose not to have children because I think the childfree life is preferable, not because I don't have what it takes to be a good parent. Over the years, many have told me I would make a great mom and evaluate me as "mom material". I am nurturing. I love children and they gravitate to me. I am sensitive to their needs and educated about child psychology and development. I treat children with respect and kindness and I bring out the best in them. I enjoy their company, but I don't need to have them around me 24/7 in order to feel I have a purpose in life. I have come to realize that I enjoy children precisely because I am not a parent.

I do not hold the opinion that everyone should be childfree, but I think our world would be heck of a lot better off if more people were. Although parents would like us to believe that they are making a huge contribution to humanity by having children, I do not share that opinion. Our planet is overpopulated, overheated and overpolluted to the point that we are teetering on the edge of extinction, not to mention that when I look around at most people, I think at least 60% of them have no business being parents. Witnessing the dysfunctional interactions with their children, it's likely their children will grow up to be detriments to society, rather than contributors to it. And let's face it, although every parent likes to dream that her child will be the one to grow up to cure cancer, the odds of that are 1 in a million - actually higher when one considers that there are almost 7 billion people living on the planet and we're still waiting for that cure. As George Carlin says in one of my favorite stand-up routines, "Kids are like any other group of people - a few winners, and a whole lot of losers."

I do not perceive reproduction and childbirth as a "miracle", nor do I see it as an accomplishment, although most parents enjoy thinking of it this way for obvious reasons. Reproduction is a biological function common to all living beings and frankly, it's so ordinary. Dogs do it. Rats do it. Mosquitoes do it. I am far more impressed with people whose accomplishments actually require some talent, intelligence, effort and thought.

My declaration may seem harsh, but at least it's honest. You will never hear me say, "I'm too selfish to have kids", "I wouldn't make a good mom", "I am lacking all those wonderful qualities that parents have" because if I did, it would be a load of horseshit. The truth is, I have plenty of wonderful qualities, am no more selfish than the next person, and would make a great mom if I chose to be one. I choose not to be one because I am happier just the way I am.

Thank you for indulging me. I will now step off my soap box.

Childfree Celebrity Spotlight - Helen Mirren

As a new feature of this blog, I would like to take a moment to shine a spotlight on those rare celebrities who are vocally childfree. I hope to feature a new celebrity about once a month.

Our first Celebrity Spotlight is on Helen Mirren whose is not only an outstanding actress (did you see "The Queen"?), but at the age of 63 can still rock a bikini like nobody's business (I am inclined to believe that a life of childfreedom has something to do with her youthful physique).

The British actress told the UK's Radio Times: "I didn't have that desire to be a mother, and don't think an awful lot of women do...I'm very proud of being childless. It's my contribution to world ecology."

In a 60 Minutes interview, when asked if she regretted not having children, Mirren replied "No. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I am so happy that I didn’t have children. Well, you know because I’ve had freedom. And I’ve so loved my freedom."

""... I never wanted children. I don't know why, I've never been shrunk so I've never gone into it. I was never drawn to babies. The only dolls I played with as a child were grown up dolls. I would have loved a Barbie if they'd been around when I was a little girl. And my skin still crawls when I see a little girl hauling around a big baby doll. You see this little five-year-olds with huge, great, monstrous, disgusting baby dolls. I want to go up and rip them out of their hands...."

In this clip from an interview Mirren did with Andrew Denton, she explains that she has always found the process of childbirth disgusting and relays an experience in school concerning sex education on childbirth which she says traumatized her for life. Her discussion on this starts at the 5:50 mark.



More about Helen Mirren

Want to see what other celebrities are childfree by choice? Check out my list and be sure to let me know if you learn of others so I can be sure to add them!

Lightening has struck!

Well, I never thought I would see the day, but a celebrity has received some press for her decision to be child-free.

Looks like Mariah Carey is perfectly happy sans children, but notice that a large chunk of the article focuses on her explanations for her decision. Always the childfree woman MUST provide a detailed accounting for her choice. Still, it's cool that Mariah is talking about it and that even cooler that some reporter was interested enough to report on it.

Kids for Carey? No, She'd Feel 'Violated'
AOL
Posted: 2008-04-23 17:33:27

(April 23) - Pop superstar Mariah Carey has ruled out having kids of her own some day, saying they would make her feel uncomfortable and points to "traumatic stuff" during her childhood for the decision to remain childless.

The 38-year-old Carey told the UK version of OK! Magazine that having children of her own would leave her feeling "violated," adding "I know that's a kind of weird thing to say, but that's how I am.""For now I enjoy my dog Jack's company. It's definitely because of childhood traumatic stuff. The whole not wanting to have a baby as a baby." She did not specify what events turned her off on kids. Her parents divorced when she was three years old. "They just fought all the time," she told PEOPLE.The singer, who is in London to promote her new chart-topping album "E=MC2," said she had serious concerns about bringing up a child."It's hard to have kids in this world," she told the OK! reporter. "I don't think I could properly educate a child right now. Maybe in the future, but I actually haven't thought about it."