Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Secret Confession of a Mom

From Secret Confessions Web Site. Wow, it really is true that we childfree people are missing out on a lot.
I liked the day in the life post so I’m going to post my day from last night til now lol. After dinner last night, that my 4 y/o took 3 bites of then said ‘I had enough’ and tossed it, i cleaned my kitchen for the 8th time that day and found greenbeans hiding in my miniblinds and in my cupboard. No one will confess to who did it. i put a movie on for the kids made them some popcorn and decided to sit and read for a bit until my hubbys aunt came over and hopped my kids up on cookies and hot chocolate right before bed (gee thanks) not only that but she stayed until 10 pm when my kids go to bed at 8. ok so now at 1:30 am i hear my daughter crying in her room she is burning up with a fever and complaining of a sore throat. She finally went back to sleep at 3am. I wanted to keep her home from school but she threw an epic temper tantrum. so now i am home getting ready to go out grocery shopping, bill paying and then to have lunch with my hubby with an expectation of my cell phone ringing and the omnious “this is the nurse from maple avenue school calling, we have katie here…” on top of all that one of my kids decided to that it would be a fantastic idea to paint syrup all over the other so now i have a ton of laundry to do on top of cleaning the house. pick the kids up at 2 pm just to have them come home argue about homework, snacks and cartoons. then dinner that again will be wasted in the trash or hidden in various spots around my kitchen, another mess, the bathtime battle and then the bedtime battle which I can say is like world war 3 every night while my husband kicks back in front of the computer with headphones on so he doesnt have to hear a damn thing because in his words: “I worked 9 hours on my feet all day. what exactly did you do?” mother f-er i am a stay at home mom and feel like the front lines of the war in iraq would weep if they had to do my job for one day. And to EVERYONE that says you should have thought about it, you’ll think twice next time…bite me. i am so sick and tired of people sitting on their high horses looking sown on those of us who are geniunely stressed and near the verge of a mental breakdown. at least we have the balls to admit that life is crappy and that we hate it while you sit in your bathroom crying wishing you had the strength to be as bold and strong as we are. to those who admit that hey motherhood blows, bravo! and the one thing we can lean on is that if we feel like we are all alone, then we are all in it together.

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If you'd like to read more from regretful parents, click here.

24 comments:

Amy Guskin said...

Wow. That was *really* depressing. So glad that will NEVER be my (happy, childfree) life!

C.S. said...

Have you read this article about the mommy bloggers running into a bit of a, um, problem as their little kids grow into teens:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40031684/ns/health-kids_and_parenting

I have a definite aversion to 'mommy blogs' so this is somewhat funny to me!

sara star said...

I love how the mom is completely resigned to her children behaving like monsters, as though there is zero she can do about it!

Happily sitting on my high horse :)

Mrs. Jacqueline said...

Okay, I'm a USMC and Iraq veteran and I'm offended as hell by this lady's attitude. She hasn't been there, she hasn't earned the right to compare her pathetic little worries with being in Iraq. How dare she.

I'm a stay at home mom now with ONE kid because that's all I can handle and I'm here by choice. Get a grip on reality lady, actually parent your undisciplined children, and deal with your own choices!

These are the kinds of mothers who make those of us who are reasonable and responsible look bad.

charmed said...

wow some of this sounds like what my best friends has to deal with. I watched her son just throw out almost an entire plate of food after only eating a tiny bit of it b/c he wanted grapes instead and they were trying to make him eat some other stuff first. then she had to wake him up and fight with him to take a pill b/c he went to sleep without taking it and he wets the bed if he doesn't take it. Fuck this. I am glad I will never have to deal with this shit.

Stephanie said...

Oh I'm so freaking sad now that I don't have that life. I think I shall go pop out a kid just to experience exactly that!

Childfreeeee said...

C.S that is an interesting article. My feeling is that people should respect their childrens' privacy. If they want to blog about them, they should be anonymous and keep their children anonymous...no photos, fake names, etc.

When I blog about my family and friends, I change all their names and you'll never see their faces on my blog.

Dave said...

Egads. Just any few of those waking hours from this mother's 24-hour period make me depressed - and GLAD I will never have to experience ANY of it!

Kristine said...

What I don't get is why this still comes as a surprise to mothers. EVERYONE has been telling you how exhausting, expensive, and thankless parenthood tends to be--from people you know to bloggers you don't. Some of us where just smart enough to take note.

Tiffany said...

This is really sad.

How can she complain and even say her life blows but hate us that don't have (nor want) children because we acknowledge her struggles before we decide to uproot our (nice) lives and have children? Seems pretty bitter to me.

Next time, she'll think twice. ...oops? Haha.

Christy said...

1) My mom would never have let me behave that way. It would never have even occurred to me to "hide" or throw out food, or to try to avoid going to bed, or throw a temper tantrum (because I WANTED to go to school?! Wtf?! Maybe her kids aren't all there, actually), because I knew what would happen if I did.

2) I am the aunt in that story.

3)I am not crying in my bathroom. I am often smiling in my hammock.

Thank you for your service, Mrs. Jacqueline. I too found that outrageous comparison to be insulting to vets. This woman needs to fix her bed.

Sea_creature said...

Yet another poorly educated, drama queen of a horrible mother who can't (or refuses to) control her spawn. I'm also offended by the 'front lines in Iraq' thing, even though I've never done it and couldn't handle such a thing at ALL. Thanks, Mrs Jackie, and all the others who have served...
I love the usual complaining that the husband doesn't do anything while she deals with 'hell' every day. Give me a BREAK. What a spoiled BABY. I really weep for the future.

Spectra said...

Absolutely none of that appeals to me whatsoever, so I'm glad I'll never have to deal with any of it. But this mom sounds like she's kind of a doormat--if MY husband's aunt came over to hop my kid up on sugar and keep him up until 10, that would just not happen. I'd say something like "We go to bed at 8 around here, so you'll have to say goodnight now" or something. I can't stand it when women just take all this crap from their husbands/families and act like it makes them a superhero. I'll most definitely pass on this.

Tresie said...

This is how a lot of my friends' lives are. Oh, by the way, we're all in our early twenties.

I have a question for you, Childfreeeee. Do you think I have chosen too early to be childfree? I am twenty-three, but as far back as I can remember, even when I was a child myself, I never wanted children. I never understood the appeal of wanting to deal with screaming, crying, messy, disobedient children.

My mother wants to believe I might change my mind, but I feel otherwise. I think her feelings are biased because she wants to be a grandmother. So what do you think? Do you think I have decided too early?

Fanboy Wife said...

How many children does she have - 14? Why is bedtime a battle every night? Is she a foster mother to a dozen special needs children? If that's the case, then I would applaud her "strength." However, I get the feeling that she probably has 2 or 3 kids who she can't control because she doesn't parent, and I'm sure many people who served in Iraq would be offended by her comparison.

Finally, why would I cry wishing I had her life? I suppose I will cry, but it will be tears of joy!

AnnS said...

Oh, this is telling:

"...i am so sick and tired of people sitting on their high horses looking sown on those of us who are geniunely stressed and near the verge of a mental breakdown. at least we have the balls to admit that life is crappy and that we hate it while you sit in your bathroom crying wishing you had the strength to be as bold and strong as we are. "

Does. Not. Compute. Either life is crappy and you're on the verge of a mental breakdown or you're stronger than everyone else.

Once again, methinks thou doth protest too much, mommy.

Gumby said...

Bravo Mrs. Jacqueline!

I have a cousin who served time in the Marines stationed in Kuwait and Iraq (among other places) and I bet he would laugh his ass off at her comparing "caring" for her children with THAT!

GIVE ME A BREAK! Yeah, because her life is in danger EVERY DAY spent with her children. *eye roll*

Nibbles said...

The most telling part is the 540 other stories from similarly miserable mothers on the site. This one is just a speck in the whole desert--check out the other comments!

Childfreeeee said...

Tresia,

Many childfree people knew they didn't want kids at an early age, some even when they were children. They are known as "early articulators". I don't think 23 is too young to know.

Most childfree people have to deal with what you are experiencing...i.e. family members (especially female family members) telling you that you will change your mind, are confused or misguided, don't know what you are missing, will regret it, and on and on.

If you read through my blog you will see I address the issue of pressure quite a bit and I think I recently did a post about how to handle the pressure, because a lot of young people email me about this very issue.

the viking and the celt said...

I find this very interesting, because the entire rant seems to be mainly about how the mother is NOT parenting her children. What mother lets a child decide to go to school when that child is burning up with fever? A mother who isn't parenting, that's what mother. Sheesh, I work at a school, and I am sick of the parents who bring their kids in, burning with fever and/or vomiting all over the place because "he/she wanted to come in today!" So what? Who is the parent and who makes the decisions in your household?

Tresie, I have always known that I wouldn't have children, which is part of the reason my own mother has had no qualms about it when I mention it as an adult. She always knew I would "end up" this way and never expected grandchildren from me. ;)

Cobalt Quicksilver said...

I agree with the rest of you. Its her responsibility to discipline her children. It sounds like she needs a major overhaul in her life...

Starting with her husband. "I worked for 9 hours. What did you do?" Are you kidding me?? Having a job doesn't excuse a parent from being a parent. He might have been working for nine hours, but she's been "supermom" for twelve. (Although, life would be easier if the kids were more disciplined. Not like I know anything about that. Ask my parents and their generation for how to get kids to behave. We turned out OK, for the most part. I'm a little neurotic, but I think I was just born a little crazy and there wasn't much they could do.)

Anyway, I think she has the power to change her situation. She just needs her husband to be there to back her up. (Emotionally, more than anything.) If he can do that, I think they both have it in them to make sure it gets better. :)

DowagerLadyUrsula said...

I felt incredibly sad for this woman until she started with the martydom and claiming that she has it worse than everyone else.

I'm pretty sure people who are charging into active combat zones where they, or their friends, could die at any moment would be quite happy to deal with syrupy clothes and messy kitchens.

Also, your husband sounds like an ass.

Minerva Castaneda said...

Well, I think most of the "problems" this woman is having are because she has no discipline and does not discipline her children and the other adults in her life. No-means-no attitude should help. I'm no mother myself but when I'm in charge of my sister's children they know I mean what I say and they don't dare to defy my authority (I'm the adult, the one with the power).

beatlefreak81 said...

I was horrified at this! If I had done any of the things mentioned it wouldn't have been tolerated. Green beans in the mini blinds! I would have been cleaning that up myself as punishment! If no one admitted to it, my sister and I would BOTH be cleaning it up.

Tresia: I don't think it's too early to know that you don't want kids. I have known for a long time that I didn't want kids. I did take into account what others said about, 'you will change when you are older' because people do change. However it did still make me mad afterall, who knows me better? I decided to just do the things I wanted to do with my life and not put any pressure on myself. I figured that if having kids is that important to me I would do that and if I didn't I wouldn't make time for it. I am now comfortable with my decision to remain childfree and I'm 30. You should spend some some with friends who have young children who are reasonably good parents. That's what helped me make the decision because even if your parent friends do have their s**t together you will see it's still hard work. I think you already know what you want but this will help solidify your decision.