Sanctimony and Santa Claus

Sanctimonious, self-righteous parents.

How often do we childfree people have to endure their self-congratulating and their holier-than-thou conceitful arrogance over how selfless they are and how their life was so meaningless before they had children and how NOW they are Mother Teresa incarnate because their life is all about their children and taking care of their children and putting the needs of others before their own (implying, of course, that YOU - the pitiable, confused, self-absorbed, materialistic, hedonist creature - are far less evolved).

Yet, amazingly, from these same saintly parents, I witness scenes like this every Christmas season:

And who, pray tell, is placing this terrorized child on Santa's lap? Why, it is said sanctimonious parent who -in her relentless quest to get the requisite Santa photo - will kick her child's psychological well-being to the curb if she has to. There are some things that are just too important to miss out on and this is one of them! What will Aunt Martha think she doesn't receive a Santa photo?

I've witnessed this scene many times over the years and again just last night while at the mall. As I exited Macy's, I heard this God-awful screaming - like a child was being killed. It was coming from Santa's Village in the mall court and there, sitting on Santa's lap was this poor terrorized child, beet red and screaming his lungs out. His mother had placed him on Santa's lap, despite the child's feeble attempts to cling onto his mother for dear life. My heart broke for the little tyke as I observed the scene. He was kicking and flailing his arms and legs, screeching in terror and reaching out desperately for his mother, who was standing next to the camera elf making silly noises and faces and clapping her hands like a cymbal monkey to convince the child that this is FUNNNNN! Hurray! Look at mommy! Isn't this fun!!?? Santa is a NICE MAN! (clap clap clap)

Dad joins in, and then little sister and now the whole family is in on the abuse. The baby will have no part of it and screams louder. Now he is so upset he is gasping for air and turning blue. The elf finally gives up and takes the photo. Santa gives a hearty chuckle. A terrorized child memorialized for eternity.

Now, isn't this what Christmas is all about?

Once the photo is taken, mom runs over to rescue the screaming child from Santa's lap. She picks him up and presses him against her, consoling him and patting his back. The child is grasping onto her like a Titantic survivor clinging to a lifeboat. "It's all over now. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" The mom and dad are giggling between themselves with a knowing look as if to say, "oh, the things we have to go through as parents" (as though torturing a child like this is some kind of parental obligation).

Yes folks, these are the same people who look down their noses at the childfree for our "selfishness".

Isn't that like Santa calling the Pillsbury Doughboy fat?