Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Center of the Universe

With all the venting I do in this blog about our child-obsessed culture, you would think that by now I would have vented about my extreme distaste for obnoxious loudmouth families in department stores and other public places. How could I have neglected such a topic which is so ripe for ripping into?

This morning I had a little time to kill before work, so I took a run over to Kohl's to find myself some new spring tops. Generally, I find my shopping experiences at Kohl's to be very pleasant - I usually find at least a couple things that I like that are at a reasonable price.

This time, however, my shopping trip was not so pleasant. First of all, before I get into the obnoxious loudmouth family vent, I must ask - WHAT IS UP WITH THE MATERNITY TOP TREND THIS YEAR and the FUNKY, PARTRIDGE FAMILY PRINTS?!!!! And why does every single thing in the store have to be part of this trend!!!???? Look at this top and please tell me WHAT WOMAN would look good in this? And why, I must ask, when a certain fashion trend is in style, must 99% of the clothing in a store be part of the style? What are women who want no part of a certain trend supposed to wear?

Secondly, I must ask: are women such mindless sheep that they will wear something that makes them look PREGNANT or like Mrs. Roper from Three's Company just so they can be in style? I just don't get it.

Anyway, I digress. The reason I am here today is to tell you how fed up I am with obnoxious families who shop together in stores like Kohl's and think they are the center of the universe - yelling and carrying on all through the store with no regard to the customers and employees they are annoying. Today, when I was shopping, there was this woman with 2 young children who seemed to always be in the same section as me and the entire time she was shopping she was yelling at her kids at a volume of about 2000 DECIBELS.

"Julia! Stop it. Get over here! Ryan, get out of that rack! RYAN!!!!! Did you hear me???!!!!! That's it - no McDonald's for you!!!! You blew it, buster! Julia, get your finger out of your nose!!! How many times have we talked about this????! Ooooooh, that's it - You're in BIG trouble, missy!! RYAN! RYAN, you are not listening to me!!!!Don't make me come over there!!! RYYYYYYYYAN. GET OVVVVVER HERE!!!!! WHAT. DID. I. TELL. YOU!!!!!???? Julia!!!! Put that perfume down! Don't spray it! Don't you DARE! I SAID DON'T! (SPRAY) That's it. No t.v. for you tonight!!!(SMACK!!!!)"
and on and on an on for an hour straight.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have no problem with people keeping reins on their children, but this woman was not in control. This family was a three-ring circus! The more she yelled, and the louder she yelled, the worse the kids misbehaved, and the more I felt like going over there, giving her a good smackdown and then duct taping her mouth as well as the mouths of her two brats.

Why oh why do people with kids think that they are the center of the universe and that we all revolve around them? They believe that when they are present, the rest of us must DEAL. Deal with their disturbance and noise pollution. Deal with their bratty, misbehaving children. Well I am sick of it and I am telling you - mark my words - the next time I am going to say something. The next time my shopping experience is ruined by an obnoxious family, I am going to approach the parent(s) and say, "excuse me, but do you mind toning it down? You are ruining my shopping experience and probably the shopping experience of everyone else in the store." And I don't care if I seem like a bitch. I am tired of being Miss Nicey Nice. I am tired of these self-absorbed, narcissistic jerks ruining my shopping excursions and it's time somebody sets them straight. Since there doesn't seem to be anyone else setting them straight, next time it is going to be me, and then there will be another entertaining blog entry for you! (something to look forward to).


CFVixen said...

LOL! That is CLASSIC! I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago. DH had to go to Sears to look at a lawn mower. I tagged along with him and started looking at some of the Land's End clothing. There was a woman there with three kids who would not behave. But as bad (and loud) as her kids were, the mother was 10x worse. Lord, have mercy! And no, I didn't say anything. I just took the passive-aggressive route and rolled my eyes at them (very obviously, but they were too self-absorbed to notice)!

Ken said...

You keep threatening to say something to there "parents" but never seem to grow enough of a set to actually do so.

I'm not the one who has made it my life's work to demean and demoralize every woman who's decided to have children, yet I have had enough guts to say things to some of these women.

Also, they do not think that life revolved around them as you keep claiming. You try chasing two toddlers arounda store. Yes, there's too many BAD parents out there, but it's also sometimes difficult to wrangle children when it's close to nap time or they're hungry.

Just because you lead such a perfect childless life does not give you the right to demean all these women. You say the world revloves around them. It seems as though you think the world does - or should - revolve around you. Sorry but the sun does not rise and set out of your ass!

A. Hidell said...

I suspect "Ken" is that dude who slapped a toddler in Wal-Mart recently...

Harvey Requiem said...

Wow, what a whiner Ken is! Let me tell you, if any childfree person (especially a woman) thought for a minute the world revolved around them, all that person has to do is go outside. Or turn on the TV. Or open a newspaper or magazine. Everything caters to parents, and the more entitled the parents the more catering they seem to get. Everything is arranged specifically for people who have kids, and it is always in the childfree's faces that they should just shut up and pretend everything is fine. Even as it is constantly suggested or stated that the childfree are morally and mentally deficient for not wanting to breed, and even as intense pressure and ignorance and hatred is piled upon them to try and force them to breed if at all possible. Even when the media does cover the childfree, there is an effort to demonize them or at least downplay their choice as "wrong" or "just a phase" or "selfish" or "they're just too messed up for kids--see, only deficient people don't have kids!" or any number of insulting phrases the childed use to demean the childfree. And those are everywhere--the childfree cannot escape seeing or hearing something telling them there is something fundamentally wrong with them everywhere they go.

Then one day someone actually makes a post on her own personal blog about how this annoys her--not even that in general but the entitled parents who make themselves the center of attention and ruin everyone else's time--and what happens? Another entitled parent begins to whinge about the evils of the childfree having the right to bitch even on their own safe-haven blog, accusing the childfree woman who dared to express unhappiness or distaste or irritation at such a situation of "making it her life's work to demean people who have kids".

I got news for you--it's not the childfree demeaning the childed, it's quite the other way around. You people have the whole of the world to tell you the sun shines out your rear end, whereas it has been suggested that "lack of desire to breed" be deemed an official mental disorder requiring "treatment"--especially for women! When people start suggesting that "desire for kids" be treated as a mental deficiency or disorder, you'll have a legitimate reason to whinge. But it's pretty petty to make yourself out to be some persecuted group when you occupy the central privileged position just for choosing to breed, just because some childfree people have the temerity to express their annoyance at the obnoxiousness of it all. Oh, no, words! Non-omnipresent words! On some obscure corner of teh intertubz! You are so persecuted! Next to that, being immersed in an omnipresent pro-natalist culture that judges and demeans you and suggests you are deficient everywhere you go with little to no reprieve just for not wanting kids seems like paradise! *snort*