Some Places are not Meant to be Kid Friendly

Why oh why are there are no places left for adults only?

Today, as I often like to do on the weekend, I went to the gym for a nice, tough workout followed by a swim in the pool and a soak in the jacuzzi. This is a gym for adults but recently they instituted a new promotion where members can bring their kids into the pool for a $5 fee. So today - the pool - which already has a very limited number of swimming lanes (4 I think), had one lane taken up with irritating, screaming, splashing kids (and of course clueless, overindulgent father sitting off on the sidelines ignoring their unruly behavior). As if this is not bad enough lane #4 was taken up with a swim instructor giving swimming lessons to KIDS. So that left 2 lanes for the rest of us serious exercisers who pay an annual membership fee to WORK OUT.

I've complained about this to the gym already but they don't give a hoot. To them it's just another revenue stream that they're milking for all it's worth.

As if all this is not bad enough, on my way out of the gym, I noticed a sign on the front desk that said, "Members - Good News! You can now add family members as young as 12 to your membership!"

12!!???? So now the gym is going to be innundated with sweaty tweens and teenagers!???

Is there nowhere a person can go anymore to do adult activities without the entire environment revolving around KIDS!??? We can't eat out at restaurants in peace, we can't enjoy the library because people let their kids run amok like wild animals, and now I can't even enjoy a nice workout at the gym without having to negotiate my way around bratty kids at every turn.

(By the way, the offending gym is Bally's, so do yourself a favor. If you're not already a member, don't become one.)

Women who ARE their Children

Thanks to CFVixen for forwarding me a link to a fabulous article by Katie Roiphe entitled Get Your Kid Off Your Facebook Page: Why do Women Hide Behind their Children? Katie addresses the disturbing trend of women using their childrens' pictures as their profile pictures, thus (in a way) sending the message that their identities are their childrens'. This is a smart and thought-provoking article about how women are taking a step backward and undoing many of the gains that have been made by living through their children.

Hurray for George!

Hurray for George Clooney! Our childfree celebrity ikon has found himself a devotedly childfree Italian girlfriend.

We wish them the best!

And of course People Magazine is all over this scandalous story. Hot off the presses - breaking news!!! Scandal!!! - A couple chooses NOT to have kids!!!!! Read all about it!!!!

My Reply to a Martyr Mom

Thank you to Amy Q. who forwarded me a link to this letter posted on a web site called Parents Connect, in which a Martyr Mom writes an open letter to her childfree friends. Read the letter and then read my response (and feel free to post your own response in the comments!)

To All My Friends Who Don't Have Children,

I love you, I promise I do, but please stretch your minds a little and try and think of what it's like to be in my position. No, I can't take a vacation for a week without my kids, just to hang out with you. I can't take a detour during a car trip an hour out of my way with screaming children just so we can sit in your not-safe-for-kids house so you don't have to get dressed and meet us at a diner.

I can't go out drinking on Ladies Night at your favorite bar, because my husband works the next morning, so I can't be hungover—I have children to care for.

Please don't call me on a weekend just to talk about how tired you are even though you slept in until 10. I've been up three times last night, and that qualifies as a good night. I also regularly wake up at six-thirty just so I can have a half an hour of peace.

Please don't complain that your house is messy—I understand your husband doesn't pick up his socks, but I just scraped dried poop off the side of the toilet and just finished a load of laundry that smelled like sour milk. I'm sorry you haven't dusted.

If you come over, realize I have young kids, so sitting with a cup of coffee and chatting isn't going to be possible. If you aren't interested in playing with them with me, don't come over. And please do not have the gumption to look grossed out when my two year old sneezes and gets snot on you. It's mucus, not poop.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Tired of Being the Only Adult in the Room

My response:

Dear Martyr Mom,

I love you, I really do. You and I go back many years but things have really changed since you had kids, and not for the better.

You used to be a devoted friend, a great listener who was always a shoulder to lean on - and I was that for you as well. But now our friendship seems to go one way because you no longer have the time, energy or attention span for our friendship. Your entire existence revolves around your child and if I bring up any other subjects, you aren't interested (or interesting). I am lucky if I can get a word in edgewise over your screaming child.

You no longer have one hour to spend with me, let alone time for any vacations or nights out on the town, so I don't bother inviting you to those kinds of things anymore. I know it's pointless. You've made it clear that you are chained to your child and your home for at least 18 years.

Please don't expect that because your life revolves around your child that mine should too. Of course I'm interested in your child and like to be kept up to date on all the latest, but endless details about every aspect of potty training, day care centers and play dates at the exclusion of discussion of anything else, makes for an unfulfilling friendship. Please don't assume that because you have a child, your life is the interesting one and mine isn't worth anything. Show at least as much interest in me as I show in you.

Don't assume that because I am childfree, I haven't a care in the world. I am a responsible, hard working adult with a household to maintain, bills to pay, and devoted relationships with my husband, family, friends and pets. Don't assume that my life is Club Med and that I'm always free, sleeping, shopping, on vacation or out at a bar.

Finally, dear friend, it needs to be said: nobody put a gun to your head and forced you to have a kid, so get off your high horse and stop playing martyr. You willingly chose to be a mom, so stop expecting others to pity you for it.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

Tired of Moms Who Think the Whole
World Should Throw Them a Pity Party