As a childfree person, I know I am not alone in finding the judgements and pronouncements of some parents (about us) tiresome and moronic. I wonder sometimes if these people actually think about their pronouncements before they make them, because most of them are so stupid they make me want to send them right to the dunce chair.Here's a judgement we childfree folks often hear (I sometimes hear this when a parent comes across my "100 Top Reasons not to have Children (and Remain Childfree" list):
"Well, it's a good thing your mom didn't think that way!"
This means, of course, that had my mom had the wisdom and independence of thought to come to the same conclusion as me that parenthood is an overglorified crock of B.S. drudgery to be avoided at all costs, I would never have been born.
So there. The smug parent has set me straight.
Except that, there are erroneous assumptions underlying this parental pronouncement:
1. that had I never been born, I would regret it. To that I ask: how can a person who does not exist be regretful?
2. that being born a human being on this earth is preferable to the alternative - which is....????? Who's to say this life on earth as a human being is the best thing going? Maybe I was happy as pie up in the heavens as a free-floating spirit, being spoon-fed Ben & Jerry's for breakfast, lunch and dinner by a leather-clad Elvis, and my mom and dad spoiled the party by conceiving me and ripping me away from the fun. We have no way of knowing, now do we?
3. that my mother giving birth to me was for my benefit and therefore I owe her my endless gratitude. Okay, moms. I know you all like to think of yourselves as the objects of undying devotion for simply reproducing, but it's time for a reality check. The fact is that moms have children for their own benefit - because they want to experience being a mom and all the perceived joys they believe they will obtain from having children. My mom didn't have me for my benefit - she had me for hers.
Perhaps I think too much about things, but I find thinking to be fun and rewarding don't you? After all, it is thinking that led me to make the decision not to have kids and I am happier and healthier (in all ways) as a result. I would not trade my life for the life of any one of my childed friends, and there is nothing about their life that makes the pain, misery, sacrifice, financial and marital strain and drudgery they undergo on a daily basis worth it.
So parents, feel free to make your pronouncements and judgements, but do us a favor and put a little thought into them first because there's no substance to the cliches you've been tossing our way.
And while you're at it, pass me the Ben & Jerry's.
