McFail

Another classic sent to me by CFVixen.

A Very Uncomfortable Bed

Do you remember my employee Charlene? I wrote about her a few months ago. She was the new hire who replied, "NO!" to the question of whether she had kids and then backpedaled quickly after that stating, "maybe when I get married, but not now."

Well, surprise of all surprises, she's now pregnant and not married. I found out a month or so ago. She's in her third month and sick as a dog. Almost every day she looks completely miserable. Yesterday, she came into my office looking not only miserable but on the verge of breaking into tears. I asked her how she is doing. "Not good" and her eyes began to well up. I invited her to close the door and sit down so we could talk.

She is completely overwhelmed with being pregnant. She is nauseous every day and nothing helps. She is having anxiety attacks and is sick with worry over being a mom, given the fact that she is unmarried and lives with her mother and grandmother. She is stressed about not being a good employee (because she's had to leave early frequently due to being so sick) and worried about my perception of her. I told her not to stress out as far as work is concerned - that we all have a generous bank of sick time to use. I was being extra compassionate because I truly feel sorry for this young woman. She has made a rough bed to lie in and it's clear she's having regrets.

Now of course I am now dealing with yet another scenario where I am going to have to find a replacement for an employee on maternity leave. It got me to thinking that perhaps I should stick to hiring men from now on, since it's pretty safe to assume I won't have to deal with these kinds of issues with them...

WHICH got me thinking about the glass ceiling and the reason women are paid less than men. I suspect it has less to do with general gender bias as it has to do with the fact that women are not as reliable as employees because most of them become moms and desert their jobs - or at the minimum become distracted and less invested in their jobs once they have kids. Many women leave the workforce altogether to raise kids and interrupt the progression of their careers and then return to find they are not making as much money as their male counterparts who have reliably remained on the job.

Later yesterday afternoon I was meeting with another director and filled her in on the situation with Charlene. At the end of the discussion I said, "God bless her" (in other words - glad it's not me) and the other director said, "Yeah. Better her than me". Hm, is there another childfree-by-choice person in the office that I didn't know about? I must investigate.

Secret Confession of a Mom

From Secret Confessions Web Site. Wow, it really is true that we childfree people are missing out on a lot.

I liked the day in the life post so I’m going to post my day from last night til now lol. After dinner last night, that my 4 y/o took 3 bites of then said ‘I had enough’ and tossed it, i cleaned my kitchen for the 8th time that day and found greenbeans hiding in my miniblinds and in my cupboard. No one will confess to who did it. i put a movie on for the kids made them some popcorn and decided to sit and read for a bit until my hubbys aunt came over and hopped my kids up on cookies and hot chocolate right before bed (gee thanks) not only that but she stayed until 10 pm when my kids go to bed at 8. ok so now at 1:30 am i hear my daughter crying in her room she is burning up with a fever and complaining of a sore throat. She finally went back to sleep at 3am. I wanted to keep her home from school but she threw an epic temper tantrum. so now i am home getting ready to go out grocery shopping, bill paying and then to have lunch with my hubby with an expectation of my cell phone ringing and the omnious “this is the nurse from maple avenue school calling, we have katie here…” on top of all that one of my kids decided to that it would be a fantastic idea to paint syrup all over the other so now i have a ton of laundry to do on top of cleaning the house. pick the kids up at 2 pm just to have them come home argue about homework, snacks and cartoons. then dinner that again will be wasted in the trash or hidden in various spots around my kitchen, another mess, the bathtime battle and then the bedtime battle which I can say is like world war 3 every night while my husband kicks back in front of the computer with headphones on so he doesnt have to hear a damn thing because in his words: “I worked 9 hours on my feet all day. what exactly did you do?” mother f-er i am a stay at home mom and feel like the front lines of the war in iraq would weep if they had to do my job for one day. And to EVERYONE that says you should have thought about it, you’ll think twice next time…bite me. i am so sick and tired of people sitting on their high horses looking sown on those of us who are geniunely stressed and near the verge of a mental breakdown. at least we have the balls to admit that life is crappy and that we hate it while you sit in your bathroom crying wishing you had the strength to be as bold and strong as we are. to those who admit that hey motherhood blows, bravo! and the one thing we can lean on is that if we feel like we are all alone, then we are all in it together.

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If you'd like to read more from regretful parents, click here.

Timbuktu or Bust

I am 44 years old, and sometimes I have to remind myself that I am "middle aged". The whole idea of being middle aged kinda bugs me, and I don't feel old, so I try to avoid thinking about it, but there are times when it's hard to keep pretending I'm in my 20s.

Like when I am constantly being irritated by the noise emitted by other humans.

Is it me? Am I just becoming a cranky old lady, or are people just noisier these days? Is there anywhere a person can go where they will not be assaulted by sound?

This being a childfree blog, it goes without saying that much of the noise I am assaulted with comes from families with children. They are everywhere, invading our space like aliens on attack in a bad science fiction movie. They are yelling. They are screaming. They are pushing and shoving. They are cackling and cooing - all at full volume and without regard to the sensitive ears (and desire for peace and quiet) of the people in their vicinity.

If I am to be objective, however, it's not only families with children who are disturbing the peace. I ride a train to work and every day I am on a quest to find a seat in a quiet area. When I enter the train, I strategically scan the aisle, looking at the passengers. I look for people who are talking to others and talking on cell phones and I sit someplace else. I try to sit myself next to sleeping passengers, to increase the odds I will have some peace and quiet, but inevitably my strategy fails because within a minute of settling into my seat, someone within earshot of me will start yammering on their phone full-blast, or break into a full-volume conversation with someone across the aisle with complete disregard for how they are annoying others.

Taking it all into consideration, families with children are the worst because they not only have no consideration for others around them, they seem to be under the impression that everyone finds them endearing. They whoop it up like they are the circus coming through town, and in the middle of the ruckus the parent smiles at me with a knowing look that says aren't my kids just the cutest!!!?? I just glare back at them and try to telepath a look that says no, you're all a bunch of annoying clowns - now get the f*ck out of my space and back to your circus tent", but they never seem to receive my message. An exasperated sigh doesn't work either. I've tried that. So I usually get up and move myself to another area but that only remedies the problem for a moment before another parade of noise makers invades my space.

It's the same story everywhere we go. Not long ago we went camping in the woods - the perfect place to commune quietly with nature and each other. Nope. Within 30 minutes of setting up our campsite, a truck filled with noisy kids (and equally noisy parents) pulled into the campsite next to us. Every morning and evening we not only had to endure the endless sounds of kids screaming and running around like Energizer bunnies on crack, we also had to endure the equally noisy father hollering across the entire campground, "RONNY - COME GET YOUR DINNER." "ANDREW - DO YOU WANT HOT CHOCOLATE!??" "Whaaaat?" "DO YOU WANT HOT CHOCOLATE!? I AM MAKING IT NOW." "COME ON, IT'S GETTING COLD!" Day and night, night and day, yelling and carrying on with not even the slightest consideration that perhaps some people came there to enjoy the beauty and quiet of nature.

While camping in Maryland this past summer, the circus in the site next to us was so out of hand with kids screaming full-volume non-stop, I finally flipped my lid and marched over to their site to confront them. I said to the father, "Would you mind asking them to keep it down a little? The noise is really out of hand" to which the clueless father shrugged his shoulders like a defeated dog and laughed, "Yeah, good luck. I've tried." This, after we observed him for a solid day and saw him do nothing - not even utter a single word to his kids as they carried on like out-of-control apes.

I know this will make me sound like the middle aged woman I am, but it scares me to consider what our society is turning into. Where have manners gone? Where has basic consideration gone? Where has awareness of other people gone? Nobody has manners, nobody cares about anyone but themselves, and everyone thinks they have the right to do whatever they want, as noisily as they want, at all hours of the day and night. Parents have no manners or consideration themselves, so they do not teach these values to their children. Life is a free-for-all where chaos and self-interest reign supreme.

Maybe it's time for me to hitch a ride to Timbuktu. Do you think I could find some peace and quiet there?

Politics

Funny and relevant political ad! (Thanks CF Vixen for the forward)

Trick or Treat

To all my readers - Happy Halloween! I hope you are going to do something fun to celebrate today. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays - always has been. I love the mood, the chill in the air, the atmosphere, the creepiness, the costumes, and of course - the candy. I may not go trick-or-treating anymore, but I always make sure I get as much candy for myself as I do for the kids going door to door.

Speaking of kids going door to door, it seems to me they are not as polite as they used to be. In fact, over the years it has gotten so bad that hubby refuses to hand out candy anymore and requests that I do the same. Many kids do not say thank you and some do not even bother to say "trick-or-treat".

One Halloween, much to the shock of my friend Sara who was hanging out with me handing out candy, I flat out refused to give candy to a trick or treater. Here's what happened:

He was a teenaged boy who showed up at our doorstep wearing no costume. Nothing. I opened the door and he stood there, costumeless, with a pillow case which he opened and shoved toward me. He didn't say a word. I asked, "Can I help you?" He gave me a dirty look, waited for a moment and then let out an annoyed sigh....... "trick or treat". The disgust in his voice was palpable, like lady, you are really wasting my time. "Aren't you forgetting something?", I asked. He looked back at me blankly, completely perplexed as to what he had forgotten. He had no idea what I was asking him. "Where's your costume?" He replied smartly that he was dressed as himself to which I advised him to come back wearing a costume and I would give him candy.

Sara's mouth dropped open in shock. She couldn't believe I refused to hand out candy to this boy, but it was a moment of clarity for me. People cannot be entitled assholes unless others enable them by rewarding their ill behavior, and I decided that night that the buck stopped at my doorstep.

Luckily, the boy and his friends didn't return to our house later that night with a carton of eggs (I half expected it), but I will say that hubby was beaming with pride when he heard how I stood my ground.

Trick or treat.

Another One Bites the Dust

The once childfree Mariah Carey has announced she is pregnant. Read it and weep.