Welcome to a new feature on my blog - a childfree advice column called "Dear Mandy". Every month, I will post a letter from a reader who is seeking advice about an issue related to childfreedom, along with my reply with advice.
If you have a reply to the reader's letter, feel free to post a comment.
If you need advice about a childfree issue, feel free to email your question to me at firecracker_mandy(at)yahoo(dot)com, or message me on Facebook (I'm listed as Firecracker Mandy).
I love my counsin's baby...love her to death! She is darling (this does not mean that I want one...I just really like her). This is mainly because she is my cousin's who I am close to, and who is totally supportive of my choice to be Child-Free. I really like this baby...not other people's, I do not ohh and aww over other people's kids...I could really care less. However, if I talk about my smallest cousin, people start pressuring me "Are you sure you don't want kids, you would be a great mom, if you like her imagine how much you feel about your own" and so on....When I say I'm quite sure, and that I really do not like other people's kids, I get the "Yeah, okay, you will change your mind". Grrrrrrr. This just pisses me off. Why can't I just really like one kid and have fun and so on with her? Why does it always have to turn into people questioning my choices??????
That IS really annoying. I think all childfree people go through this invalidation of our decision. People make the decision every day to have children, and are rarely held to account for their decision, yet if a person thoughtfully chooses to forego the role of parent, she is given the third degree and treated as though she is a confused soul who does not know her own mind.
Here's something to try. When a person insists you will change your mind about having kids, have them put their money where their mouth is. Ask them if they are willing to bet $500 you will change your mind. Get it in writing and then CASH IN. Do this with enough judgemental ninnies, and you will create a lucrative income stream - the classic "turning lemons into lemonade".
If they reply that they are not willing to bet $500 on it (which is very likely), you can say, "Guess you're not that sure I will change my mind, are you?" Be sure to give them a knowing smile. That should shut them up real quick.