Thank you to Childfreedom reader, "M" for bringing it to my attention that NPR did a feature on the New York Magazine article I wrote about in my last post, "Why Parents Hate Parenting". In this discussion on "Tell Me More", a group of moms, including the author of the New York Magazine article, discuss their take on the research which shows that parents are less happy than non-parents.
Not surprisingly, the moms put a positive spin on parenthood, even going as far as to say we should all be grateful to parents for creating the surgeons and government leaders of the future. Everyone bow down now.
Wouldn't it have been nice if they had included some childfree folks in the discussion?
Listen here.
7 comments:
I did feel like writing in and asking the host if she thought her discussion was "fair and balanced", to quote an annoying faux news organization.
I don't doubt a lot of us made the childfree decision by watching other parents, their misery and saying "no way".
I have been around parents and some kids who could have influenced me when I was younger to chose children.
But by and large, most parents I have come across don't seem to be enjoying their ride very much.
Just sayin....
You will also notice a couple of comments saying listeners wished they would have actually talked to people who regretted being parents. These people deserve a voice, and validation. Just because it isn't PC doesn't mean it doesn't happen....obviously, according to the author's research, it does.
Saw this on a message board discussion of this article today. I don't get it!!!
"I tend to agree with you. More than once, I have pointed out on these boards that I don't really see why people would expect day-to-day parenting to be either fun or pleasurable. Apart from the fact that I only ever so rarely found it to be either of those things, it is also not the point of the exercise.
IMO, it is more important to do what you can to maintain some of the things you enjoy doing, in spite of the short people. My child's purpose in life is not to provide me with "fun" or some kind of emotional gratification, and my parenting would get warped, IMHO, if I thought that was a reasonable expectation.
However, my viewpoint has often been criticized, because there seems to be a general assumption that parents SHOULD find it fun and pleasurable to be with their kids, and if they don't there is some kind of grave problem."
NPR irritates me...A LOT.
How can you have an objective discussion when you don't have more population segments represented? They get a few happy parents on there to try to debunk the theory that childfree people are happier? Makes a lot of sense to me (NOT!).
Eddie, it is mind blowing isn't it? So if having children is not meant to be "fun and pleasurable", what is the POINT? Isn't the point of life to live joyfully? Maybe that's what separates the childfree mentality from the parent mentality - we see life as something to be lived joyfully and realize that (except on rare occasions), being a parent does not help a person achieve that goal.
CFVixen - It's just another example of the pronatalist message shoving it's way through no matter what. Whenever studies are released which illustrate that parenthood isn't all it's cracked up to be (which is happening a lot these days), the media outlets fawn over themselves to contradict the research.
The Today Show is a prime offender in this regard. Remember this?
http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/2009/04/today-show-hosts-experience-cognitive.html
I asked exactly that and apparently the point is to feel fulfilled and accomplished. I told them that I have managed to find plenty of things to do that make me feel fulfilled and accomplished that are also enjoyable.
Hello,
I also wanted to share this link with you (and your readers). KQED is a local PBS television/NPR radio affiliate for the Bay Area region of California. Weekdays they host a panel discussion type program called Forum which never fails to cover interesting topics. This one from July 30, 2010 was entitled
"Childless by Choice".
You can listen here: http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201007301000
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