But I thought I would pop in today and say hello and tell you about a couple of things that happened today that are relevant to Childfreedom.
It is such a beautiful day today - the perfect spring day - so at lunchtime I took a walk through the university campus near my office. Everything was in full bloom and students were everywhere - walking about, sunbathing on lawns and some (as is customary at this university) were standing in the middle of the walkway trying to draw attention to a cause. Today I wished I had had my smart phone with me so I could have videotaped this for the blog. There was a group of college boys wearing feather boas around their necks and waving signs that said, "No More Babies!!!" while yelling out about how we don't need anymore babies! "Has a baby ever wiped YOUR ass?!!" "Babies take up too much space!" "We're sick of baby carriages everywhere!!!", "PRO WOMAN, ANTI BABY!" and so on.
It was obvious that they were just having fun and trying to shock people into laughing at their silliness, but when I walked by, I gave them a thumbs up and smiled at them. Then, a few minutes later, as I walked by them again, I stopped and decided to have some fun with them. I told them (with a serious face) that I was really interested in their cause and asked them about the mission of their organization. The young man I spoke to first kinda giggled (because obviously there is no organization or mission and they're just there to shock people) so after he floundered a little bit, another young man (who was really intent on making this seem like a serious protest), jumped in with a full anti-baby speech (loud enough for those passing by to hear). I told them I was in full support of their cause and rattled off my own list of anti-baby propaganda (focusing on the media, and environmental issues). I could tell within a minute that the fact that someone was taking them seriously (a middle-aged woman no less) was upsetting their apple cart a little bit. They weren't shocking me at all. In fact, I think I was shocking them a little.
Anyway, I guess it says something about me that these are the kinds of things I like to do for fun.
Back at the office after lunch, one of my staff members came into say hello and shoot the breeze. We got to talking about our husbands and she asked me how hubby and I met so I gave her the full story of how I was shopping in a music store and was wearing my guitar pendant and he was wearing a drum cymbal pendant and we commented on each other's necklaces and it was destiny! I happened to have some old photos handy in an on-line album, so I showed them to her - photos of hubby and me when we met (when both of us had big hair), dancing at a blues bar, camping at our favorite state park, photos of us dressed up in sombreros at a Mexican party, etc. The more I talked about hubby, the more my eyes must have been twinkling because she turned to me and said:
I can see why you decided not to have kids. You have everything you need already.
It's so cool when a parent gets the choice to be childfree. It's not that I need the acceptance or understanding, but it just feels so gratifying to be perceived as smart and fortunate for being childfree, instead of as a pitiable, misguided fool (which seems to be how most parents perceive us).
Anyway, this got me thinking about my marriage to hubby and I wondered whether I would still have the same twinkle in my eyes if we were saddled with kids, struggling to make ends meet, arguing over housework and childrearing issues and collapsing into bed exhausted every night. I doubt it. There's enough strain and responsibility in life to rally against without kids, but as a united and undiluted twosome, we somehow manage to stay above the fray.