Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Message to Parents: NOBODY CARES

Here's a question for the parents out there. What makes you think we are interested in hearing every single detail of your child's life? Here are the Facebook updates posted by an aquaintance (former co-worker) of mine over the last couple weeks. She obviously has no life (or no interests in anything) other than her baby.


7/28: "Taking Baby Joey on his morning walk."

7/27: "Had a nice weekend with family and friends. Now playing with Baby Joey."

7/25: Posts photo album of Baby Joey.

7/25: Posts photo album of kids eating dinner.

7/25: "Going to see the Johnsons with Baby Joey."

7/25: "Time for morning walk with Baby Joey."

7/24: "Poor Baby Joey has 5 teeth coming in at the same time and he is not feeling well."

7/23: "Getting ready to take Baby Joey for his 9 month check-up."

7/21: "The night before job interview and Baby Joey is teething and up all night. Tylenol has failed us LOL"

7/20: Posts photo album of Baby Joey in swimming pool

7/21: "Sleep is over-rated."

7/19: "Playing with Baby Joey."

7/18: Posts photo album of kids (and yes, Baby Joey)

7/18: "4 a.m. wake-up call is better than 3 a.m."

7/17: "Is it worth buying Baby Joey a new toy when all he does is play with the box?"

7/15: "is chanting please baby sleep through the night prayer LOL"

7/11: Posts photo album of Baby Joey.

7/11: "Baby Joey enjoyed his early morning nature walk."

Does anyone really CARE about this stuff? I wonder what people would think of me if I posted similar updates about my cat?

7/27: "Tabby is enjoying having her ears scratched."

7/26: "Scooping out Tabby's litter box. Man, how is it possible to poop out 20 pounds when you only eat 2?"

7/26: "Giving Tabby her morning love snuggle."

7/25: "Took Tabby out on the lawn with her cat leash. She looks so adorable in it!"

7/24: "Tabby saw a rabbit in the yard today. She was licking her chops."

7/23: "Got home 1 hour late from work and Tabby gave me the cold shoulder. I think she's mad at me."

7/22: "Tabby ate too much and puked all over the kitchen floor."

7/20: "Taking Tabby for her bi-annual vet check-up."

7/19: "Tabby didn't snuggle with me last night. My feelings are hurt."

7/18: "Hubby says Tabby loves him the best. I think she loves me more."

7/17: "Gave Tabby a good brushing this morning. Man, she's really shedding!"

7/15: Posts photo album of Tabby rolling on the lawn

7/14: "Tabby's gut is getting bigger. I think she needs to go on a kitty diet."

7/13: Post photo album of Tabby lounging on the couch.

7/12: "Tabby's back right leg is twitching and I am concerned."

7/11: "Tried a new brand of cat food this morning. Tabby turned her nose up at it."

Are you asleep yet?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

18 comments:

Insomniac Chef said...

haha I am amazed you have not linked http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/ yet. That is a blog entirely devoted to parent BS on Facebook. I have a friend who posts her child's age in weeks every few days. He is the only thing she ever talks about. She has not said a word about herself since she got knocked up (that wasn't in relation to baby).

Miss Mo said...

LOL...that was so boring I didn't even make it past the first few posts. POINT MADE.

Unfortunately, the instant updating nature of Twitter and Facebook just validates the delusional self-importance of parents. "Of course I post every little toilet training session with junior on Facebook! That's what it's there for!"

Then of course, there is the fact that because they have a kid they now have no life of their own to post about…

What really bugs me is that 90% of the time their posts are complaints. "I'm so tired!" or "Junior just puked on my face"…do they expect me to praise them or sympathize with them over an unpleasant situation that they chose to put themselves in?

CFVixen said...

OMG! Hilarious! And sadly, so true.

At least your friend seems to have a positive attitude about it. My "friends" on facebook are constantly complaining. I mean constantly. I so want to ask them what they thought parenthood was going to be like prior to having children. Did they really think it was all Kodak moments?

HawkMom said...

Personally, I don't mind when people update, but I get what you mean when it seems all they have to say revolves around their child (or pet).

I'm so glad you added the last part about the cat, because I've known a lot of childless (not childfree) people who complain about being plowed with baby info, while filling up everyone's inbox with "cute" pet videos.

When HawkBaby was first born, I posted pictures and status messages on my social networking sites to keep my friends updated, but the whole idea became very awkward. I felt arrogant and rude - not the mention the eeriness of having my child's pictures all over the internet. I didn't feel comfortable making such a personal decision for her. When she's older, she can decide whether or not she wants to be featured on The Web.

Anyway, I deleted all of the photos of her that were public and have resorted to sending out group e-mails, photos, and updates to a small group of our closest friends and relatives. Much more discreet.

Oh, and I like your blog.

S2 said...

BRILLIANT!!!!!!

Childfreeeee said...

You know, I really don't mind people posting about their kids, or posting photo albums or whatever. That's FINE. They are a big part of your life so you SHOULD post about them. But PLEASE - it gets a little out of hand when EVERY SINGLE UPDATE is about your kid and EVERY LITTLE DETAIL about them. Aren't your even remotely interested in ANYTHING ELSE? With everything going on in the world, there isn't anything else you can comment on?

And the narcissism of thinking that everyone really gives a flying f*ck about every stupid walk you take your kid on. Ugh, it's maddening.

Serafina Pekala said...

Aw! I love the pic of the kitty!

And yes, it's sad to know that some women are so one dimensional after plopping out a kid.

Gumby said...

Does "Baby Joey" have a DAD?

I'm just wondering since there seems to be absolutely no mention of him anywhere.

It seems that once most women squeeze (or drop depending on what # it is) one out they totally forget that they have a husband or significant other. No wonder most men feel forgotten and ignored after the kids come.

Sad...

Childfreeeee said...

Yes, Gumby, Baby Joey does have a dad and occasionally dad makes it into the photo albums, but almost never does she post anything about him. You are right that once women have babies, the poor husband is pretty much out of the picture. A lot of the women I know who post on FB almost post NOTHING about their hubbies...only the KIDS.

Serena said...

it's just like anything, posting a mere fact can be pretty boring. It's when people add an original thought that it becomes more interesting and gives any insight into their lives. You know, "taking Joey to get his first haircut. I remember when I could spend $45 on a haircut because I didn't blow $200 on diapers a month."

Ok, I have no idea how much it costs to keep baby poop off the floor and furniture for a month, but my point is just that the fact that people post that stuff isn't a crime any worse than posting anything else insipid, ie "Just ate a peanut butter sandwich..."

I also suspect the motivation for posting things like the baby stuff is in some way, even if subconscious, to prove that you are still a good person.
"Taking joey for a walk" could be code for "I can't call you to talk about your life because every time I get on the phone Joey grabs it and sticks it in his wet baby mouth." Of course if that's true, the more honest comment would be more interesting, but some people are too worried about being judged by others. I hope when I am a parent I don't lose my identity and/ or personality.

Wag the Dog said...

According to this Garfunkel & Oates song, the tunnel vision starts long before the baby is born.

Sea_creature said...

You know...this facebook and twitter crap has just gotten way out of hand in general. I can't believe how it's exploded in the last few years. People I barely know are adding me and then never speaking to me again. All I get are stupid apps I don't have patience for. I never thought receiving an actual email with the words, "Hello, how are you?" would become such a novel thing. We're becoming a society of narcissists and I'm already tired of it.

roxetterachel said...

The Facebook statuses from mothers about their pregnancy, kids, etc. is driving me nuts. I left Facebook altogether once, but came back and deleted all but close friends. Now, unfortunately, a close friend got knocked up and talks of nothing but morning sickness on her status updates. This whole thing makes me want to post dead baby jokes on my status. I guess i'll just have to leave again!

AlexisHidell said...

This is my biggest peeve with Facebook. Several of my friends are serial baby posters just like this. It's as if they stopped existing as people and now only exist as their babies (to the extent that their FB profile picture IS their baby and not them!). I've also noticed that these mommies' postings are not limited to hour-by-hour updates on baby highs and lows; they also post dozens of "quiz" results. All. Day. Long. I want to ask: with all that time spent figuring out what Buffy character you are and the number of 80's sitcoms you can name, how on Earth do you have time to raise your baby? Maybe since the baby has taken over the adult, they're trying to regain a sense of themselves through quizzes.

I should also note that on Mothers Day when I posted a status of "Happy We're Not Mothers Day to all my childfree friends! Let's drink!" because I was sick of reading about sore boobs and baby teeth, I got a bunch of sad face emoticons and "Someday you'll change your tune" comments from the mommies. Jealous much, ladies?

Erin said...

You know what's worse than Facebook mommy friends who drone on incessantly about their babies? Moms who do the same about their teenagers! Ugh! I've defriended two people because I couldn't stand the constant updates about their kids. I couldn't tell you one thing about thems (i.e. hobbies, interests, personality, etc.) because ALL they talked about were their kiddos. I mean, really, there's only so much I can take when its along the lines of "Kristy had dance competition this weekend (see attached photos) ... Jake is at scouts tonight ... tomorrow is dentist appointment for Kristy and football for Jake ... just got back from taking the kids to church party ... hubby & Jake went fishing today ... Kristy's getting ready for prom ..." Yek! These are true, too!!

By the way, LOVE the blog!! It is SO inspiring to finally realize there is entire group of people out there like me! Now, only if I could find you so we could hang out together on the weekends having spontaneous fun!

liviafernanda said...

I'm reading this text now and I know exactaly what is this. I can't stand my co work anymore - thanks God she is on vacations now. She is always telling me about her daugther. She spends all day and night thinking about her, I'm sure she lives her life. When she begins: "Did I tell you about Marcelle?", I almost say to her: "Yes, you tell me about Marcelle every f*** second". I don´t mind to talk with someone and suddenly her/his child appears in conversation. But every time, on and on... I think I´m too much patient. Ah, and a little detail: Marcelle is 27 years old!! I know this mom about 3 years. Imagine who lived with her during all Marcelle's life!

newyorkerforlife said...

Ok, I must confess - it was through reading this blog entry that I realized I must stop lurking and comment on how much I LOVE your blog! :) Honestly this is the best blog on the Net - please keep it going. (Yes, I found you through Googling "reasons not to have kids" when yet ANOTHER female co-worker announced her pregnancy and I found myself defending for the upteenth time why I will be happy to be the "Childfree Office Statistic"). Sometimes I swear you're channeling my exact thoughts - it's a little psychic - and I totally dig it!

Anyway, I must tell you - I have a friend from high school that I recently connected to again on Facebook. She is taking time off from teaching while she stays home with her 6 month old - and EVERY other Facebook post is all about the new baby....EXCEPT - It's all written in the POV of the baby! Yup, that's right, not only are we (her FB friends-at-large) subjected to Daily posts about the baby in our News Feed, BUT we are getting it ALL from the Baby's point-of-view! Lovely! I mean captioning EVERY photo of the baby as if it's the "actual" baby doing the captioning is one thing - but now you've let the baby take over your Status Updates as if they were her own? Good grief!
I've actually wondered that if I tried this with, oh I don't know, my CAT (or maybe my CAR?) how long it would take for people to Block, Defriend me, or possibly look into having me put on a psychiatric hold? Believe me I've toyed with the idea, but I figure the inevitable backlash and rampant comments from parents assuming I did this just to "mock" them was too much. (Angry parents? Um, no thanks!)

In any case I think it's come time for me to block my aforementioned friend from the Facebook News Feed. No need to Defriend her for now - but if the "baby" feels the need to tell me one more time how "great it was getting fed fresh peaches by my Mommy" we might have a serious issue!

That said please keep up the great work on this blog! It is insightful, thought-provoking, and completely enjoyable! I will be looking forward to its continued success! Thanks!

Miami Beach said...

I like this posts.

Carroleen
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