Sunday, July 20, 2008

E.T. on the Beach

Have you ever seen an ugly baby? Ugly as in fugly? Picture this. You are sitting on the beach and in front of you is a family of 4. One of the family members is about 18 months old and looks like a cross between Jerry Stiller, ET and Mr. T. (I know this is hard to imagine, but indulge me here). He is squat in shape, has a big head full of frizzy reddish hair, a heavy brow that creates a permanent scowl, a unibrow, a crooked mouth with protruding lips and large ears that stick straight out.

Well, we saw this baby on the beach not long ago and for an entire day, as we chilled and enjoyed the beautiful beach day, I found myself in a state simultaneous awe and pity over the ugliness of this child. I didn't think it possible for a baby to be this ugly. It was jarring enough that I actually whispered to my husband, asking him if he noticed. "Yeah, I was thinking the same thing".

(Sadly, these are the types of things that occupy us when we are on the beach.)

Fast forward to 2 weeks later. It's another beautiful, sunny summer day and we decide to head to the beach again, only this time - we go to a different beach town. Variety is the spice of life! We drag our overloaded beach cart down the sand - umbrellas, chairs, towels, books, sunscreen, cooler and the kitchen sink, and plant ourselves in a nice open spot.

About an hour later, I glance up from my book and look to our right and guess who I see? The ugly baby! He's back! Believe me, there is no mistaking this child. He and his family are sitting 10 feet from us! Now I ask...what are the odds that the same strangers would be sitting within feet of us on 2 different beaches, many miles apart, in 2 different towns, on 2 days weeks apart?

This story isn't really about the CF issue, really. I just thought it was entertaining to share but I guess it does give you one more item to add to your list of reasons not to have kids: you can get one that is so butt ugly he scares the bejesus out of perfect strangers on the beach.


Phoena said...

Next time you see the little circus freak, please snap a picture. We're dying to see this!!

CFVixen said...

LOL! What are the chances?

I've seen my share of ugly babies. Just recently, our company's IT guy became a dad. He's been sending around pictures of his baby to various people, and I've unfortunately been one of those recipients. O.M.G. Seriously, at first I thought it had to be a joke. The baby looked sooo much like ET. I don't even know how to comment except to say, "wow...Congratulations!" You can't say anything about the baby being cute because nobody could begin to believe that lie!

Stepher said...

There can be only one explanation: the ugly baby is stalking you. ;->

I have come across some fugly babies in my day and I always w/o fail think of that Seinfeld episode; the, "You gotta see the baybeeeee" one where they're all at the beach.

Oh, I also think of a bit George Carlin did in his last concert. It's very funny and really goes straight to the heart of ugly kids - LOL. I can try to find it if you'd like.

I'd LOVE to have a beach so close - ugly kid be damned.