My mom has this tradition of giving Mothers' Day gifts to my sisters-in-law and ME, even though I am not a mom. Every year we joke around that I AM a mom - a cat mom! (I think my mom just doesn't want me to feel left out, which I think is really sweet).
This year, a really great card accompanied the gift my gift and I love the card so much, I wanted to share it with you. I have never, ever seen a card like this. It's basically a Mothers' Day card for non-mothers, and I think it is just so awesome.
When I told my mom how much I loved this card she kept going on about how it's TRUE and that she thinks I am like a mom to everyone - very loving and nurturing.
I have to say, I was just so touched by this, especially since the "child" issue was a sore spot between my mom and me back some years ago. In fact, back then we had a serious, long-lasting fallout over it because I felt she was invalidating the life path I had taken and trying to convince me that I was wrong to not have kids. I finally had enough of it - hence, the fallout. But that was years ago. Now that I am 46, I think she has finally accepted that we are not having kids. More than that, I think she can really see that I am happy in my life and that's what's most important in the big picture. She doesn't need more grandkids (she has 4 already), although I am sure she'd be happy to have as many as she can get. Also, I have noticed that in recent years when I talk to her about being glad I don't have the stresses and problems of people who have kids, I can tell she doesn't disagree with me or give me disapproving looks like she used to. I think she can finally see how much easier my life is because of the choice we have made, and how my life is filled with all the things and people I love. There's no lack in my life and she can see how grateful I am for the great life I have.
I love this! It's so wonderful when people (especially parents) really "get it!" Your mom sounds like she really does!
ReplyDeleteThat is so sweet! I found a card very similar for a woman I consider to be like my mom even though she's not.
ReplyDeleteI expected that my mom would be upset with my choice not have kids, but she consistently says how good my husband and I have it. I'm lucky to have such a supportive mom and I know that.
That's awesome! I never really expect anything on Mother's Day, but I like the idea of a non-mother Mother's Day card. Very cool!!
ReplyDeleteEven though I don't have kids, my dad gave me a Mother's Day card the year before he died and it was so sweet since I guess he wanted me to have it for all the years he would miss.
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm becoming a step-mom (part time), I'm still kind of hoping that someone will acknowledge my little contribution to motherhood. We'll see. Or else I'll have to lay some big hints, lol! It's literally volunteering to be a mother to someone else's children out of the goodness of your own heart. However, it comes with some benefits that full-time moms don't usually receive. We still don't want to have kids of our own, but this way, we get to be around kids enough to reinforce the childfree part of our lives! :)
That is so nice, what your mom did. That's awesome that you have a good relationship with her now.
ReplyDeleteI can only hope I get to a place like that with my mother someday (I don't think she fully accepts my husband & I's choice not to have kids.)
I am only 26, but my husband recently had a vasectomy to cement our choice, and I still don't think it has hit her yet. She already has 2 grandchildren from my older sister, you'd think that would be enough. She treats my sister, her husband, and the grand kids better than she treats us. She even lives on the same street as them (creepy!) We tend to keep our distance, but have made attempts to be closer to my mom, but to no avail. I only hope (like in your case Mandy) that as time goes on she accepts me for who I am and gets it out of her head that I'm not having kids, ever. Running out of time though, she's not getting any younger and neither am I. I'm 26 like I said, and she's 55, so I hope there's still time for us to be close.
My niece sent me the best (non)Mother's Day card. The card made me feel appreciated and honored that I have people in my life that get the fact that I've made a life choice to be childfree.
ReplyDeleteI received two wonderful (non) Mother's Day cards, one from my neice and one from my BFFs daughter. I was then treated to a dinner, where when the waiter asked "Who are the mothers here?" my BFFs kids all pointed at me too.
ReplyDeleteI just loved this card. I would have cried - literally - if I receive this kind of message from someone.
ReplyDeleteThat is a wonderful card!
ReplyDelete