Sorry for my absence but when it comes to blogging, sometimes life gets in the way. I am happy to report that mostly what has kept me away has been a nice, extra-long vacation in Mexico where blinding sunshine, 80 degree temps and splish splashing in the turquoise sea have kept me far from a computer keyboard. And then, as life would have it, I returned home to a severe stress fest with a major upheaval at work that required me to fire someone (something I have never done before and which I hope I never have to do again).Since I am not feeling particularly insightful or blessed with any cutting, laser-beam insights just yet, I thought I would softly ease you back into my blog with a spot recently aired on the Today Show (our favorite pronatalist morning show extraordinnaire) about childfree married couples. Nothing groundbreaking here, but it is nice to see The Today Show starting to acknowledge that we exist. Note they made a point to include a quote from the childfree wife stating perhaps she lacks a maternal instinct (reinforcing their mommy viewers' superiority for having a maternal instinct). Also note the first line of this spot, "now here is something we didn't realize - more and more married couples in this country are choosing to go childless".
Perhaps they didn't realize it because they were too busy pandering to MOMS.
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
I rather liked the piece (NBC's sudden realization aside). Good to see segments that bring awareness about people like us. I identified with these couples and that is satisfying. The woman's comment about "lacking the maternal instinct” doesn't bother me either. I equate that comment to something like "I have the recessive gene for left-handedness." It's not necessarily an admission of inferiority... just a statement about how we’re different - and we're ALL different in some way. The statistics show we're a minority (although 6% seems low – is that just me?) and some people just feel the need to explain how they feel different – as in “I don’t have the same instinct or desire that most women do.” What is most positive is that they understand what type of people they are and don’t cave to societal pressure.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised the % is so low too. But again that's probably consistent with my social group, so probably right.
ReplyDeleteI think that statement about lacking maternal instinct is kind of the coping mechanism many of us childfree engage in. I say things like that instead "well because I think you're crazy for having them," because it's more socially acceptable for me to say stuff like that than what I really think. (Like I say "I would make a terrible mom" instead of saying "because the lives of everyone I know with kids look awful to me!" Stuff like that.)
I liked it, but I wish they had an extended interview in-studio or a two-parter. It seemed like such a blip. Well, hopefully now people realize they have a choice and don't procreate out of societal obligation.
ReplyDeleteI witnessed some talk on a couple of mommy forums that had me fuming, quite frankly. A lot of these women are just on auto-breed, it seems, regardless of the circumstances ("DH only wants to stop at two kids, we'll see about that, more like two or three more, haha" or "He doesn't want this baby and we're broke right now, but I think I can convince him...").
I wish she hadn't said she "lacked" the maternal instinct, either. I would like, for once, to see a childfree couple who don't seem regretful or that they "didn't have what it takes". Secure, happy, confident people. It shouldn't be that hard to find. I cringe at the thought of all of the parent comments on the video, defending parenthood when nobody threatened it in the first place.
Oh, and good vacation pic! I'm glad you got some time away.