Thanks to CFVixen for forwarding me a link to the May 14th Ask Amy column in the Chicago Tribune. The entire column was dedicated to snappy comebacks to the "when are you going to have kids?" question.What do you think of the replies to the article? What are your snappy comebacks?
I like the combacks where you give an exact date - like someone can plan it like that!
ReplyDeleteDuring the time that my husband and I were going through infertility treatments you can imagine that these kinds of questions were less than welcome - and far too frequent!
Now that I've decided that we're probably better off without kids, for a variety of reasons, it's more of an annoyance than upsetting or offensive.
However, out of respect and sympathy for fellow infertiles who have not gotten to that point I feel obligated to "teach people a lesson" for being so intrusive and insensitive for badgering others about such a personal issue. Therefore I think maybe I'll start answering the "When are you going to have kids" question - should it ever arise again - with the following:
"As soon as the quality of my eggs greatly improves and my ovary age decreases and my husband's Y-chromosome deletion reverses itself so that he can actually produce over 1 million sperm."
Some of those replies make my blood boil. "Disgusted" called it selfish and "miserably neurotic" not to want children. "Not Buying It" said they live a "pleasant lifestyle" to make up for the emptiness! LOL! That's a typical self-serving justification for living an unpleasant (in her own words!) lifestyle WITH children and having less than their child-free peers because of it.
ReplyDeleteSince when is living happily filling a void?! How terribly unhappy someone like that must be! It's sad but at the same time, they deserve it.
It's funny because I think a lot of people have KIDS to fill a void that exists because they couldn't come up with anything more interesting to do with their lives.
ReplyDeleteI think the best response to an offensive question is another question. So the answer to "when are you going to have kids?" could be "why do you want to know?" or "what makes you think I'm going to have kids?" and put THEM on the hot seat.
"I think the best response to an offensive question is another question."
ReplyDeleteI agree. Since I'm often intrusively asked (if not told: "You must have kids!") by parents, I ask back when they are going to have the second or the third child, and if they are not planning to have another baby then I ask them why.
Anyway here it's a tough life for childfree people, the media clearly state: "For ensure a bright future to this country we must triple the 0.86 birthing rate."
Yesterday started a television-comedy drama intitled: "Baby!Baby!Baby!-Childbirth.", and its
posters portraying pregnant gorgeous women are everywhere.
Since Japan is a montainous region poor in raw material and already stuffed with people I suggest that Manchuria watch out.
The ones like "Disgusted" need to get a grip.
ReplyDeleteOh those insipid childfree with their fun and their happiness. How dare they enjoy life. Please.
What the hell kind of response it that anyway? Talk about envy.
Whenever I get the question I just start looking around and call out "Next!". People usually just laugh and then drop it.
I had to read "Disgusted"'s answer twice, I just couldn't believe it. As if people who do have kids never did it to fill a void... HA!
ReplyDeleteAlso, what does it say about a person when they are "disgusted" by other people's legitimate choices for their own life?
Not counting my mother, I don't think anyone ever asked me the question that bluntly, except for friends who do it as a joke because they already know my answer very well. I tell them I'll have kids in some future life. And then I add that I don't believe in reincarnation anyway ;-)
We always tell the true…we are not having any because my wedding gift from my husband was a vasectomy…people are shocked and don’t ask us again!
ReplyDeleteso i clicked on the link but i guess im late because there was no article..
ReplyDeletebelieve it or not i been asked that question...i guess since i been married for over a year(although i don't think it matters for spanish people) oh yea but im 20!!!!!why would you ask that to a 20 year old?? anyway i replied "no thanks, i rather not have a kid screaming at me. so i have the prettiest most adorable cats" i don't remember what she said but it was something mean about cats..i really dislike her..
I get this all of the time, and my response is usually:
ReplyDelete"Mmm... I guess when we get tired of having sex all night and then sleeping it off for most of the weekend."
That usually stops THAT line of questioning.
...when babies are born with the ability of taking care of themselves,i'll have them.
ReplyDelete