tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post7346148548332996891..comments2023-10-29T08:17:42.840-07:00Comments on Childfreedom: Just Say NoChildfreeeeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-83179117002537727752011-04-01T22:26:03.250-07:002011-04-01T22:26:03.250-07:00Oops, I wrote my previous comment late at night; I...Oops, I wrote my previous comment late at night; I meant that I hope I didn't sound 'defensive' not 'offensive'. (Not that I wished to be offensive, of course.)<br /><br />TLO and Almost Alright: Thanks for your kind words. I was hoping I wasn't just encroaching where I wasn't wanted, so it was nice to get such positive responses. This blog and the comments here have Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06190175939760942862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-32816905362567991542011-04-01T10:39:46.185-07:002011-04-01T10:39:46.185-07:00Little Type Amy,
The people pressuring you to con...Little Type Amy,<br /><br />The people pressuring you to conform and have babies are just working through their own issues out loud. They probably don't even see themselves as putting pressure on you. And who knows, maybe they don't even think about you having a baby at all. Some people are just unconsciously evangelical.<br /><br />I've had similar problems with coworkers, and it Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-4903656191854889542011-03-31T20:15:22.358-07:002011-03-31T20:15:22.358-07:00ARGH - Dani I hate you for being a parent!!!! (hah...ARGH - Dani I hate you for being a parent!!!! (haha - just kidding :).<br /><br />Sorry if some comments are generalizations (I'm talking about mine here), but I think a lot of us are used to hearing generalizations we hear about child-free folks like we'll all eventually change our minds or regret our decisions or people assuming we aren't "grown up" because we don't Almost Alrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08550702198860435010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-38022010502709174782011-03-31T07:28:48.899-07:002011-03-31T07:28:48.899-07:00Dani,
Your response was definitely not offensive,...Dani, <br />Your response was definitely not offensive, just your personal POV. I commend you for maintaining your own life and some semblance of SELF in the midst of child-rearing. I'm not sure I could do that, particularly in a society that puts SO much pressure (on women in particular) on parents to be "perfect" and do it all. I would not derive pleasure from that, but then againAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-66363380776269907902011-03-30T23:10:08.842-07:002011-03-30T23:10:08.842-07:00I'm a parent, so I'm not, uh, exactly your...I'm a parent, so I'm not, uh, exactly your target audience, but I've been reading through your archives for about an hour, and I just wanted to say a few things, just to be a new POV. <br /><br />I'm not offended by the childfree moment (and who cares if I am? That would be my own issue to deal with). The only problem I have is when I see comments pertaining to those "having Danihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06190175939760942862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-30221449941583279852011-03-30T06:59:36.580-07:002011-03-30T06:59:36.580-07:00Yuck...baby smell... I describe it as rotten milk ...Yuck...baby smell... I describe it as rotten milk deep fried in baby powder.Heather Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00316664193986838384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-82421727087351740392011-03-29T10:41:44.998-07:002011-03-29T10:41:44.998-07:00Y'know, I really like ice cream sundaes. The f...Y'know, I really like ice cream sundaes. The feeling of the cool glass of the sundae cup against my fingers; that smooth, chocolatey, melty smell; and the taste! Not much comes close to topping (sic) an ice cream sundae.<br /><br />Still, I have no desire to do those things non-stop for the next twenty years.Chris Shadoian Fossetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12409395331014553212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-43727793436291788162011-03-28T20:35:27.947-07:002011-03-28T20:35:27.947-07:00I suppose being a single man has made me pretty mu...I suppose being a single man has made me pretty much immmune from the kind of pressure your friend Cindy has had to endure. I also have a small family which respected the personal lifestyle choices we made. Having a younger brother who got married and did not have a kid until nearly 12 years later also deflected any possible pressure although I don't know how much he got from his wife'sDavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05503978839912338538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-22369766229988407792011-03-28T11:17:24.017-07:002011-03-28T11:17:24.017-07:00Mandy,
I know what you mean. There must be lots o...Mandy,<br /><br />I know what you mean. There must be lots of ways for a person to enjoy holding babies without having to give birth to them. I'm sure hospitals and day care centers could use all the volunteers they can get. Cindy can put in a few hours holding babies and then go back to a clean, quiet house.<br /><br />Looks like you've done all you can with Cindy. Maybe the best to hopeTemujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-8232803740177126512011-03-28T08:16:00.597-07:002011-03-28T08:16:00.597-07:00Hmm, I have never had a maternal instinct pop up s...Hmm, I have never had a maternal instinct pop up simply from being around a baby. Yes, I've had an emotional moment whilst holding a newborn belonging to my cousin, but that did not mean I wanted to go create one of my own or adopt. ;) It was a moment, that's it, and it passed, and I then began to feel claustrophobic sitting in the hospital room as I watched my lethargic looking cousin, Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-23655958042877488782011-03-28T07:36:46.552-07:002011-03-28T07:36:46.552-07:00Yes indeed - when people used to tell me how much ...Yes indeed - when people used to tell me how much they love babies, I'd ask them do you also love toddlers and 6 year olds and 10 year olds and TEENAGERS? I remember a friend of mine urging me to have a baby when her first one was about 3 years old. Now he is almost 30 and still living at home. And her 2nd son is almost 25 and also living at home. She and her husband have been through hell shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11231859755559008915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-79511972050231953852011-03-28T00:52:16.811-07:002011-03-28T00:52:16.811-07:00I had one of those moments at a get-together my si...I had one of those moments at a get-together my sister was having for her daughter. She and some other kids were playing soccer and the ball hit her in the face and her nose started bleeding. As my sister and husband were helping her, I had a moment of wishing that I had someone in my life who needed me like that, and that I was the most important person in their life.<br />But then later, as theSherri.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08187622714900069066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-15513091180810178662011-03-27T18:50:44.863-07:002011-03-27T18:50:44.863-07:00Mandy,
I just want to say that I feel just like yo...Mandy,<br />I just want to say that I feel just like your coworker. In the past, I had already touched upon this when I wrote to you on facebook and vented how frustrated I feel to be in her shoes. I will be 30 years old in just a few weeks if not less. I also work with a group of women who sound just like the hens you were describing. Now that I am nearly 30,I still feel the presure more every Little Type Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12615100089917475066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-76360859723078806922011-03-27T14:01:18.897-07:002011-03-27T14:01:18.897-07:00Temujin - I make no secret to my staff how much I ...Temujin - I make no secret to my staff how much I adore my nieces and nephews and yes, I had Cindy in my office the other day and was showing her pictures of the little cuties (and fawning over them). I think you are right that there is this idea that if you have chosen not to have a baby, you must hate them.<br /><br />I just can't believe that someone would decide to have a kid because Childfreeeeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-58992297418832925022011-03-27T11:51:42.339-07:002011-03-27T11:51:42.339-07:00Maybe you could share with Cindy how you feel abou...Maybe you could share with Cindy how you feel about holding a baby, to show that you have that in common. She may be under the impression that you just don't like babies, and she may not have even considered the possibility that someone could like babies and still not have one. She may not know that she can enjoy babies and also be childfree. And, there's that wonderful moment where you Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-70287651103468536262011-03-27T09:54:08.728-07:002011-03-27T09:54:08.728-07:00I can vouch for this as well. A friend of mine ha...I can vouch for this as well. A friend of mine had a baby last year and she's the cutest thing in the world. I've helped them out with her from time to time, and while I enjoy holding her on occasion, I know for sure that I don't want one of my own, especially when I see what they go through for the sake of the kid.<br /><br />Babies and kids can be cute, even adorable, and I'm Alectahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15861936603422014353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-48806564160213635092011-03-26T14:41:56.737-07:002011-03-26T14:41:56.737-07:00"Mother's Day is Over" is a book I r..."Mother's Day is Over" is a book I read decades ago - it's motherhood demythologized by a mother of two. <br />This book is based on interviews with about 200 mothers & I think it should be read by all women <br />who are romantic about motherhood --to see what it is really like-- and by all mothers who feel guilty <br />about being terrible mothers. <br /><br />The author shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11231859755559008915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-83207374650766517542011-03-26T13:49:00.431-07:002011-03-26T13:49:00.431-07:00I think it's telling that these "hens&quo...I think it's telling that these "hens" are trying to convince her to have a baby at all. <br /><br />I have no desire to have a baby, but when someone I know has decided they want one and actually gets pregnant, I don't have any problem feeling happy for them. It's not for me, but I'll buy shower gifts and suggest baby names like the rest of them.<br /><br />Why isn&#Almost Alrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08550702198860435010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-3242266735439917192011-03-26T08:15:31.835-07:002011-03-26T08:15:31.835-07:00It's a shame that those women are trying (and ...It's a shame that those women are trying (and have probably succeeded) in bringing her over to the dark side. I hope the co-worker fully understands what she's getting herself into. Otherwise she'll be posting on TruuConfessions in no time. <br /><br />I'm not really a fan of kids because I have no idea what to do with one of them. My wife likes kids and loves her little cousins brettchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08057872641919900687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-9179473863251335782011-03-25T15:55:37.943-07:002011-03-25T15:55:37.943-07:00I feel the same way about animals right now, I am ...I feel the same way about animals right now, I am a cat person, i love cats and I love dogs too but I don't want any b/c I can't afford the expense, I'd have to move somewhere that allowed pets and they are more work than I'd want to deal with right now. So I just enjoy my friends pets and may volunteer at an animal shelter of some kind to get my cat fix.Tabathahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03699613435513406894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-54903251840948928242011-03-25T14:42:59.324-07:002011-03-25T14:42:59.324-07:00I'm not holding anyone's baby. People know...I'm not holding anyone's baby. People know better than to even ask me. Sorry, just not my thing. If they were born 5 I may have considered having one, but anything younger than that I seriously can't be bothered with. <br /><br />That said, I always find it interesting that these manic mothers will badger and cajole a woman into having a kid, and the minute she turns up pregnant theseDaghainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00029519102850252984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-22998813900682704052011-03-25T13:02:49.732-07:002011-03-25T13:02:49.732-07:00I think a lot of women are drawn to babies. Babie...I think a lot of women are drawn to babies. Babies are cute and cuddly and they don't talk back and drink your beer and crash your car. Babies grow up to be toddlers that test your patience--ask my sister, who is currently trying desperately to potty train a 3 1/2 year old who has no desire to use the toilet. Then they grow into teenagers that get into all kinds of trouble and eventually Spectrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14867094255953299465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-64313432279867546722011-03-25T12:44:25.111-07:002011-03-25T12:44:25.111-07:00Sara, you stated my feelings exactly. There are l...Sara, you stated my feelings exactly. There are lots and lots of things that I love that I would not take on. Dogs send me over the moon too....I love them (actually I love all animals) but will probably never get one because they would tie us down too much. A person can love or enjoy something without wanting to make it a permanent part of her life.<br /><br />And yes, sharing is a great Childfreeeeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-13164218301535199012011-03-25T12:08:20.635-07:002011-03-25T12:08:20.635-07:00Babies are cute and when they're not crying, I...Babies are cute and when they're not crying, I prefer them to any other age group of children, but just because I don't mind holding a baby, or loved my niece the first time I held her, doesn't mean I want kids. In fact, having nieces made me not want kids more!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-14644734030546929982011-03-25T11:53:33.649-07:002011-03-25T11:53:33.649-07:00When I get to hold a baby, I just enjoy the moment...When I get to hold a baby, I just enjoy the moment for what it is without deciding I have to have one too!<br /><br />There are lots of things like that. I enjoy friends hot tubs, oh they feel so good and are so warm (but the electric bill is too high for me to afford to maintain one)<br /><br />Or petting a friends dog, it is quite nice, but I don't feel up to walking one everyday.<br /><brsara starhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04826686885318466824noreply@blogger.com