tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post9016275782769840249..comments2023-10-29T08:17:42.840-07:00Comments on Childfreedom: Frazzled, Frenetic FriendsChildfreeeeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-81072152655501024702011-02-23T13:11:14.424-08:002011-02-23T13:11:14.424-08:00If you're childfree and enjoy children, I like...If you're childfree and enjoy children, I liken it to working at the zoo. I love animals, I think animals are fascinating, I like to think I have a way with animals, and I think I would be a great zookeeper. Do I seriously want to take the tiger home to live in my house? Or take home the giant hissing cockroaches? Absolutely not!Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-63374588809624479922010-02-17T19:50:28.744-08:002010-02-17T19:50:28.744-08:00Ah, yes, this is familiar. It reminds me of anothe...Ah, yes, this is familiar. It reminds me of another behavioral change. When my close girlfriend had her children, she became resentful of (what she perceived as) my vast amounts of free time. When I'd mention something interesting I'd read or suggested some fun event (often kid friendly ones), she'd snap at me, "I don't have time for that stuff!" There was a tendency to feedergoldfishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16835372615510276948noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-3436773922206466542010-01-10T23:49:04.550-08:002010-01-10T23:49:04.550-08:00"And I don't see what's so hard about..."And I don't see what's so hard about understanding someone liking children but not wanting them. It's exactly the same as someone who loves dogs and thinks they are so cute and loves to play with them but absolutely does NOT want one of their own - just doesn't fit into their lifestyle."<br /><br />Oh my gosh! I said EXACTLY the same thing to a girlfriend about 10 Retired Sydhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14826873538970471960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-74204235675854781532009-12-29T19:26:47.302-08:002009-12-29T19:26:47.302-08:00Dear lord haven't we all been there or witness...Dear lord haven't we all been there or witnessed this. If these people knew that just by observing them alone, its validation to those of us who are childfree to remain that way!goddiva-11https://www.blogger.com/profile/02287449111032934068noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-19410138600342182452009-12-20T02:19:26.171-08:002009-12-20T02:19:26.171-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Paula Knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02181466382764440710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-88323407436590912712009-12-19T00:31:27.734-08:002009-12-19T00:31:27.734-08:00I've noticed the same thing happening with my ...I've noticed the same thing happening with my childed friends -- although in most cases, it looks to me like their life after children is just an exaggeration of their basic nature. <br />That is, they always did enjoy noisy parties/talking over each other instead of listening and taking turns talking/didn't seem to mind messy stinky dorm rooms. Now their lives are like that 24-7. DO khh1138https://www.blogger.com/profile/00749745526449252728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-70679716092493561702009-12-18T06:39:58.949-08:002009-12-18T06:39:58.949-08:00That awesome, HawkMom, that you've managed to ...That awesome, HawkMom, that you've managed to keep you life low-key, even with kids. From what I observed, that is the exception to the rule. My friend Sara (the one I wrote about in this post) was just as frazzled once she had her first. It all started to go downhill right after he was born, and I've seen the same thing happen to others right after they had their first. <br /><br />Childfreeeeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-73223530477931526762009-12-17T19:13:03.433-08:002009-12-17T19:13:03.433-08:00I guess I'm cheating or something, because my ...I guess I'm cheating or something, because my life isn't hectic or stressful at all, unless I try to do a million things at once or at the last minute. <br /><br />The beauty of having an only is getting to dip my toe in the parenting pool without getting my suit wet, I suppose.*shrugs*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-46459573276627073712009-12-16T16:38:37.491-08:002009-12-16T16:38:37.491-08:00So well said--so many childfree people like kids b...So well said--so many childfree people like kids but just don't want the lifestyle that comes with them. They may be part of their lifestyle if they have occupations that involve kids. I was surprised to find that this was true for lots of people I interviewed for my book Families of Two (www.lauracarroll.com). For these and other childfree who have jobs that do not involve kids, they just familyof2https://www.blogger.com/profile/01223238256168057512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-23981669084906101482009-12-16T08:48:05.833-08:002009-12-16T08:48:05.833-08:00This is an AWESOME post. Love the thoughtful comme...This is an AWESOME post. Love the thoughtful comments, too. CF folks write the best stuff because they have time to THINK. :)<br /><br />Every CF person I know agrees wholeheartedly with the first paragraph. And we all know a Sara...at least one.<br /><br />It's very hard to watch funny, interesting people become frazzled, humorless automatons due to parenthood. It's even harder to hear Zazzuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16984406076982323938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-37562282754546405652009-12-15T11:30:38.844-08:002009-12-15T11:30:38.844-08:00Oh man! I'm a teacher so I also get that stuff...Oh man! I'm a teacher so I also get that stuff: "But you like kids, don't you want them?" "You work with kids but you don't want any? What?" "Why don't you want kids. You know so much about child development!" <br /><br />Yes I love children...from 8 to 4. If being with kids for just part of the day is draining enough and difficult enough for me, flamencokittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07665114298186254835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-36892263621974783582009-12-15T06:52:00.042-08:002009-12-15T06:52:00.042-08:00Your second paragraph is the one I find most inter...Your second paragraph is the one I find most interesting. What we CF who happen to like being around kids, at least at times, is that we can give them back when are done. This way, we can avoid the downside (lifestyle) of kids but still enjoy being around them for certain times and activities.<br /><br />This is true for me when I run school Scrabble tournaments, my volunteer work. I run aboutDavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05503978839912338538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-83749680076663309592009-12-14T14:28:15.100-08:002009-12-14T14:28:15.100-08:00Good lord. My life is chaotic enough as it is betw...Good lord. My life is chaotic enough as it is between career, artistic pursuits, hobbies, husband, friends, etc. Don't get me wrong, I love it like this as it keeps me motivated and excited, but adding a child to that mix? Hell. No. I've had people tell me that they think I'd make a great mother because I obviously like to be busy and juggle a lot of activities at once so of course I&The Pinthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06987851778195111585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-25612478632046853212009-12-14T11:58:27.303-08:002009-12-14T11:58:27.303-08:00I can also relate to this. The sad thing is, my mo...I can also relate to this. The sad thing is, my mom friends don't even realize that <b><i>they</i></b> are the ones who changed after having kids, and as a result, our friendship has too. When the kids are suddenly the most important thing in their world, friendships ultimately suffer. When/if they do have time to hang out, and they aren't too tired, they spend the majority of the time Ellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06029614712855760844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-42001766263880830872009-12-14T11:15:20.523-08:002009-12-14T11:15:20.523-08:00Ditto on the changed relationships thing. It seem...Ditto on the changed relationships thing. It seems the majority of my friends with rugrats just don't consider friends important enough to make time for anymore. Sad.<br /><br />And I don't see what's so hard about understanding someone liking children but not wanting them. It's exactly the same as someone who loves dogs and thinks they are so cute and loves to play with them Gumbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15777638943346918789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-78578066099300662932009-12-14T10:29:29.046-08:002009-12-14T10:29:29.046-08:00The whole children thing has changed so many of my...The whole children thing has changed so many of my relationships and it makes me sad...Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13646695542116530854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-4749603732034643142009-12-14T09:23:35.703-08:002009-12-14T09:23:35.703-08:00I can 100% relate to this. Pretty much all of my ...I can 100% relate to this. Pretty much all of my "mom" friends have completely changed their personalities...not for for the better. Sadly, most of them don't even bother getting together or calling me anymore because they cannot DO anything anymore. I've really been mourning the loss of my old friends lately. And yes, it's the LIFESTYLE I don't want.CFVixenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00777723818313211020noreply@blogger.com