tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post8769989779424954432..comments2023-10-29T08:17:42.840-07:00Comments on Childfreedom: Why I Don't Live and Let LiveChildfreeeeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-86431913617699466732012-10-08T17:11:21.328-07:002012-10-08T17:11:21.328-07:00Oh! Epiphany moment... (you may have already reali...Oh! Epiphany moment... (you may have already realised this, maybe it's just me who didn't).<br /><br />I see a whole load of parents out there who regret their decision. I also see a whole load of childfree people out there who don't regret their decision.<br /><br />I have never in my life heard of someone contemplating reproduction being told they might regret it. I have (and I knowhybrid756https://www.blogger.com/profile/06785000843521746440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-7844876731992727432012-09-18T11:46:22.185-07:002012-09-18T11:46:22.185-07:00This actually reminds me of a well written article...This actually reminds me of a well written article about a similar problem atheists have by the blogger, Greta Christina (you may have heard of her; if not google her)--it's called "Shut up, that's why". In fact, this argument about live and let live because childfree people are rocking the boat about parenthood is very similar to atheists rocking the boat about religion, and Angelus-Mortishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15072679106094237174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-82733700202885400002011-12-01T05:04:04.764-08:002011-12-01T05:04:04.764-08:00Haha I'm a childfree/ atheist/vegetarian so I ...Haha I'm a childfree/ atheist/vegetarian so I guess that would make me a tripple "whammy"!RainaMarinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03985765597215377961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-79984541231867071792011-12-01T04:59:12.108-08:002011-12-01T04:59:12.108-08:00I completely agree, childfreeee. Humans are like p...I completely agree, childfreeee. Humans are like parasites to the very place we call home. The longer we stay on earth, the sicker the earth becomes. I'm positive that once the earth is no longer inhabitable, our race will find another planet to set up shop and destroy.RainaMarinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03985765597215377961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-17294351038347078332011-11-29T16:33:02.154-08:002011-11-29T16:33:02.154-08:00In response to Chantel:
I can see how saying “usu...In response to Chantel:<br /><br />I can see how saying “usually” parenting is such-and-such a way sounds overly generalized and a little biased. I think that’s a valid point. Ultimately it means we’d be debating over whether Mandy should have said “often” or “sometimes” instead of “usually,” which is pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things.<br /><br />As for being unhappy with being Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-76744484328996980282011-11-29T07:55:40.345-08:002011-11-29T07:55:40.345-08:00Chantel, I hate to say this, but the aggravation c...Chantel, I hate to say this, but the aggravation comment is very accurate. If you haven't read True Mom Confessions, then you may only be with a tiny fraction of the world that do love being parents. And sweeping generalizations happen more on the parental side towards us than us towards them. Go bitch at them about their generalizations before being offended at us. <br /><br />Second, we mayCF-PC Me!https://www.blogger.com/profile/07972680076671366047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-43693088817630159372011-11-28T19:42:10.785-08:002011-11-28T19:42:10.785-08:00Burrito - first of all, I'm not concerned abou...Burrito - first of all, I'm not concerned about keeping the planet populated. I have no doubt it will continue to be populated, and even way overpopulated. However, if EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the planet today chose to not have kids, there would be no exponential population growth. That's all I'm saying. It IS unethical, in my opinion, for me to bring still more people into this Happily CFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05912934107614153098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-8707654337859219072011-11-28T19:38:13.986-08:002011-11-28T19:38:13.986-08:00Childfreeee... good point. Perhaps I shouldn'...Childfreeee... good point. Perhaps I shouldn't say that the human race SHOULD continue... but rather, that NO ONE having kids will not just solve the "overpopulation crisis," it will end human civilization. It seems to me that most people who have commented to say that there are already so many people in the world, we don't need to make more, do not want civilization to end. Happily CFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05912934107614153098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-71885824984011584212011-11-27T23:48:57.555-08:002011-11-27T23:48:57.555-08:00"This leads many unsuspecting and unquestioni..."This leads many unsuspecting and unquestioning people to buy into the myth that parenthood is mostly bliss with a tiny bit of aggravation thrown it to keep it interesting, when in reality the reverse is usually true."<br /><br />I find this statement downright offensive and I am childfree as well. It is a huge generalization you haven't even attempted to support with fact. That mayChantelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01490215889951121768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-1995983053638033872011-11-27T23:34:25.964-08:002011-11-27T23:34:25.964-08:00^If your meal is ruined by a squalling child, you&...^If your meal is ruined by a squalling child, you're not at a nice restaurant. Might be nice to you, but not according to industry standards. If you want to live in a child free environment, there are restaurants you can patronize but why should establishments change what's working for them, for you? Welcome to my life as a minority, where your views are less important than that of the Chantelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01490215889951121768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-64234821829893018742011-11-23T05:55:21.490-08:002011-11-23T05:55:21.490-08:00Excellent post.
And I wholeheartedly agree with T...Excellent post.<br /><br />And I wholeheartedly agree with Temujun: there is no "live and let live" when your child is constantly annoying or inconveniencing me. If I go to a nice restaurant with my DH and a meal that I looked forward to all week is compromised by a squalling brat, that's not live and let live. Add to that the bigger issue of overpopulation, dwindling resources, CFVixenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00777723818313211020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-62743523986211057832011-11-22T18:49:08.574-08:002011-11-22T18:49:08.574-08:00Dogsledder - I'm atheist and childfree as well...Dogsledder - I'm atheist and childfree as well. There are a lot of us out there, especially on childfree message boards. I go to one called The Childfree Life, and there are a lot of atheists there.<br /><br />I'm lucky, because I haven't gotten any flak for being childfree. I don't really tell people about it, except people I know I can trust not to hassle me about it. I also Sherri.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08187622714900069066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-12410515992263237342011-11-22T13:56:39.934-08:002011-11-22T13:56:39.934-08:00It's easier to "live and let live" w...It's easier to "live and let live" when you actually have no effect on someone else. I can't actually stop people from becoming parents, but parents can very easily destroy some of the things I love about being childfree. Parents don't just "let me enjoy my childfree lifestyle" when they let their kids run and screech all over the restaurant. They don't live Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-26777816968577967722011-11-20T00:39:45.473-08:002011-11-20T00:39:45.473-08:00I'm childfree and athiest too. I would suspect...I'm childfree and athiest too. I would suspect that's quite common, actually - since it really means you take everything everyone tells you and run it through your own personal filter to see if it holds true for you. For some people religion is just about believing what you're told without questioning it, much like having kids because you've heard nothing but sunshine and roses Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11817101229921181958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-76053054333924894392011-11-19T03:04:20.384-08:002011-11-19T03:04:20.384-08:00Good point, Alex...about overpopulation. Really, ...Good point, Alex...about overpopulation. Really, having the "live and let live" philosophy toward reproducing is probably not the best approach since overpopulation is doing incredible damage to our planet. I had to laugh recently when the news was buzzing about the planet reaching 7 billion people, and the reports had a celebratory tone to them. This is not something to celebrate! Childfreeeeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-29597210792789097582011-11-19T01:51:44.601-08:002011-11-19T01:51:44.601-08:00I addressed this issue myself recently on my own b...I addressed this issue myself recently on my own blog, although the focus of my response was different. <br /><br />Simply put, if parenthood weren't seen as the default goal, something expected of and pushed upon everyone, then the word "childfree" would not even need to exist. As it is, it's impossible to talk about childfreedom without talking about parenthood. That is to sayUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07046890052971253311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-25524657070481340862011-11-18T14:39:51.528-08:002011-11-18T14:39:51.528-08:00Very, very well-said. I am childfree and agree wi...Very, very well-said. I am childfree and agree with pretty much everything you write.<br /><br />I DO have to respond, though, to a commenter who said that "breeding should be heavily fined and discouraged, because it's unethical to bring any more children to a place with limited resources and so many unwanted people and animals already" It's unethical to ensure the ongoing Happily CFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05912934107614153098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-67276421798333686562011-11-18T14:36:31.379-08:002011-11-18T14:36:31.379-08:00Dogsledder and Christy, I am also childfree and an...Dogsledder and Christy, I am also childfree and an atheist so now we make three here.<br /><br />Being single and male (and 48 now) and living in the northeast USA have all helped me in not getting bingoed much if at all over the years although being CF has cost me some good relationships over the years (I have been involved with the same woman now for several years). My family was never the Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05503978839912338538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-51302230197739994132011-11-18T08:36:48.236-08:002011-11-18T08:36:48.236-08:00I agree: "Live and let live" is a fairyt...I agree: "Live and let live" is a fairytale. And yes, the majority of adults in childbearing years, are in fact, parents. <br /><br />But those numbers are changing, and the childfree population is growing. <br /><br />As recent as 2008, the <a href="http://goo.gl/rm0Eb" rel="nofollow">US census reports</a> a rise in childfree adults since the 70s.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16602155248662939724noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-21715252068154849672011-11-18T06:22:24.888-08:002011-11-18T06:22:24.888-08:00Christy- I'm so glad that there is another ath...Christy- I'm so glad that there is another atheist childfree out there! That's like the 1-2 punch of unpopular and criticized choices and I have to say I've probably gotten more flak for being childfree than for being an atheist. I'm certain a lot of the reason people go after the childfree has more to do with the choices the attacker didn't make than the ones his target so Dogsledderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02645300358284076835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-79717543705857206952011-11-17T17:35:09.625-08:002011-11-17T17:35:09.625-08:00Thankfully I'm young and haven't experienc...Thankfully I'm young and haven't experienced much pressure to have children. I realize, though, that this will probably change as I get older :/ Your approach makes a lot of sense. There needs to be some sort of counterbalance to the blatant pronatalism of our country. <br /><br />Something I've found interesting is that I get the most crap about not having children from men and from Tessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02122280561380385245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-71228041605262931062011-11-17T12:05:40.543-08:002011-11-17T12:05:40.543-08:00We can all get along as long as you don't say ...We can all get along as long as you don't say anything bad about me, or anything that makes me think about the choices I have made, or my secret reasonings behind them! Can't we just live and let live? Excellent post, Mandy!<br /><br />I'm an atheist, and I also constantly hear "the live and let live" philosophy from members of organized religion. Ridiculing and rejecting myChristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00469912352453659215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-68917444219522455182011-11-17T11:43:42.319-08:002011-11-17T11:43:42.319-08:00Freelance Feminist is right--most people are just ...Freelance Feminist is right--most people are just sheep and go plodding along doing what most other people do because they think they are "supposed" to.<br />Like an earlier poster said, overpopulation, dwindling resources, wars, poverty, inequality, greed, cruelty...these things <br />aren't going away anytime soon. I agree & I also agree that the most loving thing people can shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11231859755559008915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-10696324091767462612011-11-17T08:08:26.491-08:002011-11-17T08:08:26.491-08:00Beautiful post.I used to "live and let live&q...Beautiful post.I used to "live and let live" untill I got married and EVERYONE around me started to harass me questioning my choice (even in presence of my husband or my mother) and describing gross details of childbirth:"If you wait it will be worse!"<br />I don't mind to be asked:"Do you have kids?" or "When are you going to have children?" but I hatemarinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11659296002311186807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-9725932609961171162011-11-17T07:27:00.458-08:002011-11-17T07:27:00.458-08:00To answer your question, Spectra, yes, there is a ...To answer your question, Spectra, yes, there is a myth out there about only children. The myth is that only children are "bad" (lonely, self-centered, poorly adjusted) when the truth is that all only children are different and are no better or worse than any other kid from any other birth order. <br /><br /> Before I decided to be childfree, I decided that I would have only one Freelance Feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092340281129630966noreply@blogger.com