tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post6744766234152399098..comments2023-10-29T08:17:42.840-07:00Comments on Childfreedom: Having it AllChildfreeeeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-82624223041792272942013-06-04T23:54:28.760-07:002013-06-04T23:54:28.760-07:00I just had an epiphany.
I was thinking about this...I just had an epiphany.<br /><br />I was thinking about this article recently, and mulling over one line that has stuck out in my mind. It bothers me for several reasons.<br /><br />Slaughter says something about women like Condoleeza Rice with high-powered careers who "don't have a family."<br /><br />You don't need to be childfree to be bothered by this line. We live in a &Freelance Feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092340281129630966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-58398592813118915452012-07-25T07:41:34.596-07:002012-07-25T07:41:34.596-07:00I don't "have it all," and I definit...I don't "have it all," and I definitely enjoy my life as unmarried and child-free.<br /><br />As for the patriarchal dominance and propaganda that women still submit to, that is up to women to dismantle. As long as women submit to the traditional marital and parental roles, nothing will change for the better.Monahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15173073098137247646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-4228122750703952232012-07-11T13:43:29.124-07:002012-07-11T13:43:29.124-07:00I don't know if anyone has said this yet, but ...I don't know if anyone has said this yet, but NO ONE has ever really "had it all." You cannot literally do everything you want to do. No one can do absolutely everything he or she wants to do or get everything he or she wants out of life.<br /><br />I hope there aren't any women out there thinking that any men have been able to do everything they've wanted to. I know it Temujinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15311893269588654768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-49571303978620118542012-07-04T16:11:14.799-07:002012-07-04T16:11:14.799-07:00I feel lucky - I didn't know that having it al...I feel lucky - I didn't know that having it all meant having kids and a job! Maybe I lived in tupperware for the past 30 years, this is the first time I learn that the phrase means that. So this whole time, I always kind of made my own meaning of having it all. I have a devoted 10 year relationship, time to learn, relax, have a drink, meditate, hike, rescue animals, find ways to make extra honeynettles.blogspot.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08366085811567919758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-52405036431163656372012-07-01T21:55:58.489-07:002012-07-01T21:55:58.489-07:00When I first heard about this article, my first th...When I first heard about this article, my first thought was "No, women never will have it all, as long as men aren't pulling their weight."<br />Seriously. Look around. Women do most of the childrearing. Women do most of the household cleaning. Women do most of the cooking. And where is the man during all of this? Probably sitting on his ass watching football.<br />Women could have Sherri.Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08187622714900069066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-63586897697286438212012-06-27T08:47:20.386-07:002012-06-27T08:47:20.386-07:00I loathe the phrase 'having it all'. What...I loathe the phrase 'having it all'. What exactly does that mean? Apparently, society defines it for women as having a successful career, a happy husband, and adorable children. But what is it for men, if anything? Probably just a focus on their career as primary and family (if any) as secondary.<br /><br />Frankly, I enjoy saying that I do NOT have it all. And I hope I die never Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18205302651920801280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-53178685307410738652012-06-27T05:44:09.315-07:002012-06-27T05:44:09.315-07:00I get so tired of this myth, too! I don't have...I get so tired of this myth, too! I don't have a real career yet, but I am in school and working towards that goal. I wouldn't be able to do this as easily if I were stuck raising a child. Also, I just discovered that a couple I know (not friends with anymore) are expecting...again! The wife has 2 kids from a previous marriage (one autistic) and a child with her current husband. The Roxie Harlowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03373668018002491570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-63494247736067818732012-06-27T03:10:24.975-07:002012-06-27T03:10:24.975-07:00Something I heard recently that I thought was inte...Something I heard recently that I thought was interesting was that obviously nature genetically programmed humans to enjoy sex. However, we're not necessarily programmed to enjoy raising children. In other words from an evolutionary perspective, nature gave us a biological desire so that procreation would take place, but it doesn't care whether parents enjoy all the stress, chores, and Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-78531854989973202162012-06-26T23:49:59.537-07:002012-06-26T23:49:59.537-07:00Nice piece, Mandy.
Kelli Goff’s response in the H...Nice piece, Mandy.<br /><br />Kelli Goff’s response in the Huffington Post was far more on the mark than Slaughter’s piece.<br /> <br />And in Slaughter’s piece, this part struck me as off the mark:<br /> <br />“Sandberg’s second message in her Barnard commencement address was: ‘The most important career decision you’re going to make is whether or not you have a life partner and who that partner Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05503978839912338538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-33956097876581440452012-06-26T16:13:40.753-07:002012-06-26T16:13:40.753-07:00Thanks everyone for all the insightful and intelli...Thanks everyone for all the insightful and intelligent comments.<br /><br />I too wonder why people don't stop after one, or two kids MAX. Why three? Or four? What does a person get out of 4 or 5 kids that they can't get out of one or two? And who the hell can afford them? It's so expensive these days to even support a household of 2, let alone 5 or 6. I honestly don't know Childfreeeeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01776614837813912148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-73551883357301317862012-06-26T14:02:47.840-07:002012-06-26T14:02:47.840-07:00like you and CF Vixen, I also feel that I have it ...like you and CF Vixen, I also feel that I have it all. My life is completely full with everything I want -!<br /><br />Someone posted on your blog awhile back that she looks around and sees that a few mothers are excellent task-managers and are great at "doing it all," but the VAST majority of mothers are tired, stressed-out, broken down, and failing at holding their lives together. I shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11231859755559008915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-42677625981261025382012-06-26T13:39:21.255-07:002012-06-26T13:39:21.255-07:00The part where you said that the childfree don'...The part where you said that the childfree don't have to sacrifice anything to "have it all" is an important point, and one that I think may be a major cause of parental resentment and jealousy towards the CF. Even parents who actually enjoy parenting still had to give up some things they wanted and valued in order to have kids, be it a more demanding job or the ability to shower Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10990123916621558595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-60704072052145787712012-06-26T13:19:13.444-07:002012-06-26T13:19:13.444-07:00I agree with it being almost impossible to "h...I agree with it being almost impossible to "have it all". My sister in law works as a TV news producer. Her husband also works at the TV station and they work odd shifts. They have 2 boys who are in daycare a lot and the only REAL quality time they ever have is when they are on vacation. Granted, my brother in law helps a lot more than a lot of dads, but they are both very stressed Spectrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14867094255953299465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-44939821078291248122012-06-26T12:29:51.236-07:002012-06-26T12:29:51.236-07:00I think you and Nicole both nailed it on the head....I think you and Nicole both nailed it on the head. Women are disadvantaged both by the (patriarchal) propaganda they're submitted to and by the actual (capitalist) organization of labor. Both these factors are equally important, I think. Women are primary caretakers and have a career because they believe it's the right thing to do, and then labor conditions don't let them do both Francois Tremblayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04760072622693359795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-75956382879269929962012-06-26T12:26:08.290-07:002012-06-26T12:26:08.290-07:00This was an interesting article and much better th...This was an interesting article and much better than other not-so-intelligently-written articles by other mothers. I agree with PensiveFashionista in that this article was a little more geared to the 1% and not the majority of the country, but the author still made some points that I'd like to address.<br /><br />Here's a run-down of the article: <br /><br />1. Get rid of some myths:<br /Freelance Feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092340281129630966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-36921649273301716992012-06-26T11:26:22.998-07:002012-06-26T11:26:22.998-07:00I guess the part of this whole debate that really ...I guess the part of this whole debate that really gets my goat (is that the saying?) is that this is NEVER framed in a way that suggests men have trouble "having it all." MEN do not worry how to balance their respective roles of husband, father, and worker bee, because they inherently rely on WOMEN to worry about all the things they can't. I know this isn't true in all Nicole Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14174658047649932046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-84763634833147944642012-06-26T10:44:33.246-07:002012-06-26T10:44:33.246-07:00100% agree with you and CFVixen.
Yeah for real fr...100% agree with you and CFVixen.<br /><br />Yeah for real freedom.Poochiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08167548594949831865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-33063199169759900562012-06-26T10:10:36.228-07:002012-06-26T10:10:36.228-07:00Where is the applause button?
Here's how I se...Where is the applause button?<br /><br />Here's how I see it: there is absolutely NOTHING missing in my life. In fact, right now it's a tad fuller than I'd like it to be! Some things may need to be cut out. There is absolutely no room for a child, and that doesn't make me unhappy in the least. I never wanted them in the first place! How could I possibly feel like I'm CFVixenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00777723818313211020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6155688048560818982.post-89202314769114113622012-06-26T10:04:23.383-07:002012-06-26T10:04:23.383-07:00Considering the recession we're in, I thought ...Considering the recession we're in, I thought the article was very classist and just focused on a narrow subset of women.<br /><br />So many people would be grateful for a job and probably ecstatic if they found one they loved.<br /><br />I just found the timing of the article to be way off.<br /><br />I'm also tired of the whole "having it all" myth which is also in the same PensiveFashionistahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11336102105425606108noreply@blogger.com